Hittin' Out

2006-01-01T15:57:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!

1/1/2006
I have several goals and aims i wish and must accomplish this year.
The year, 2006, is a major milestone year and important for myself as well as my comtemporaries.
'O' Levels is in store.
This is one big exam of life. Academically speaking.

I see 2005 going into the vault of History with both happiness and sadness. I am taking one step closer to the complete transformation of being an adult( which is, for me, not exciting ) but we are however, closer to the eternity of heaven.

Was at Esplanade with loads of people.
No countdown. a major disappointment to me.
no party. another disappointment.
no atmosphere.

Fireworks were in excess. As if my eyes were deprieved of fireworks after living for 15 years. It was a sure anti-climax that most people went straight back home after the countdown. I wouldn't have minded getting grounded after having one whole night of fun, which in anyway, won't happen as school is happening soon.

Timetable released.
Teachers were replaced.
Unknown to me, i felt a great great unexplainable sense of relief when i saw, no not Ms.Lim, but Ms Soh still being our Geography teacher. Not that i am not glad Ms. Lim's still our EL teacher.
Something's gotten into me, and i treat many things(that is seemingly mediocre to some) as very important and i will try really hard to get things my way.

I think i am very headstrong when i want something. Which will sometime work to or not to my advantage.

Went to some hawker centre at Toa Payoh just now to have lunch. After finishing our meals, my mum went to buy some desert for my sister whom was absent. My brother went with her. The scene was, they were both facing the stall and there was a male cleaner pushing a cart to collect used cutlery(which is, duh, his job.)
Unknown to me why, my brother backtracked and cut into the path of the cleaner, which he almost bumped into.
The cleaner got enraged and into a frenzy of scolding my brother for not looking at where he is GOING.
At this point, i overheard, but did not interfere as the cleaner was making his way on, all the way going on and on on how my brother interrupted him.
Perhaps it is true cleaners will always be cleaners and they will always be uneducated. But without common sense? This is the first cleaner i have seen that appears normal outside but seems to be retarded or ill with Down's syndrome. Since when, with the many milleniums of human history did WE HAVE EYES AT THE BACK OF OUR HEADS? And he can blame him for not looking at where he is walking.
Smart argument.
My mother got pissed off and went to reason with him.
She got insulted by that bitch too.
At this point, the boiling anger unleashed demonic blood into me.
Anger gave me focus then.
I got up to him. And raised my voice loud enough that some patrons were looking at me too.
I told him 'How the hell can you blame him, and look at how old you are, scolding some kid at least 4 times your junior for not having eyes at the back of his head.'
Hatred for him was growing within me and i was prepared for a physical 'negotiation'
Haha, talk about a pre-school showdown.
That guy got kind of coward? He kept shut and pushed his cart away.
I wasn't like satisfied i won the 'negotiation', and lesson learnt for him was 'Don't ever insult a mother in front of her half-grown up, ready to explode kid'

Reflecting, i know i shouldn't have gotten so angry and so rough with him, and sinned. Besides When he is 50 + years old? Perhaps could have used a little diplomacy here.

But the natural instinct was to rush to my mother's defence.
Recently family been a important focus to me. I can't be with them all the time.
After watchin The Family Stone, their mother died of a certain diease and somehow, some images of that happening to me flashed through my mind and i got really really scared. The thought of not hearing my father call my name nor hearing my mother waking me up in the morning is unbearable.
Living without them? I dont think i can.

2005-12-26T01:55:00.001+08:00

Christmas.

i am speechless about it.

i've attended a family gatherin when i could have gone for a party. and the gathering was gay.
And i didn't even have chocolates in my fridge.
I felt asleep during service.
I abused all sorts of vulgarity.
I almost showed the middle finger to a stuck up aunt.

They say Christmas dones't happen till it happens in ur heart.
Yeah it'll happen, why not?

Next year....

Okay at least someone has a change in attitude for the better.
Showed some teeth (smile)(ed)
spoke to me nicely and interestingly ( although it still can be summarized in less 10 words)

Blogging?
they say it pumps out the stress from u.
i'd say its true.

I'm longing for a long sweet walk with some one sweet on the street now. at early morning.

AHHHH! I AM FREAKING BORED.

2005-12-26T01:55:00.000+08:00

2005-12-02T18:48:00.000+08:00

Today i witnessed something that i thought was outright outrageous.
I was at the supermarket at Junction 8, to buy my lunch, which was instant noodles. At that section, i saw this lil' girl with her two grandparents.
For some reason unknown, her grandmother was scolding her. I thought well, old folks do get a lil' more grumpy, and not everybody's grandparents are as patient as mine. I winked to myself. How i miss them.
Then that girl, at that tender age, when we should be quite innocent, she clenched her fist as though filled with rage and anger like gonna whack her grandmother. I stared at her. Then, as most kids would, she covered her eyes, to avoid letting me see her tears.

Truth is, we hardly appreciate the things, let alone people around us. We hardly bother about them and the focus will be 'ME ME ME'. Them ? ' LAST LAST LAST'. More often than we ever notice or even care, we do things the way we like it.
When i was that lil' girl's age, which i suppose is about 5 or 6, i hated every visit we had to make to our grandparents' place.
My perspective then was that ' Why go? the food sucks, no freaking (perhaps i wasn't so corrupted then) air-conditioner, the TV is like so small and there's a weird stench in the apartment, and my grandparents speak a different tongue from the ones i understand.'

Some saturdays, i would try desparately ( and at that age, desparate kids get really irritating-they cry, scream and make a sanctuary chaotic.) to get my father not to go and suggest some other place to go to.
On those saturdays, my father would be in a very very joyous mood, for if he wasn't joyous, i wouldn't even go near him. My father is a strict man and runs our family in a almost tyrannical rule. His word is law and he is never wrong. Well, most of the time, he isn't wrong.
Then, because of my desparate-ness, and create a chaos out of the day, my dad would lose his temper and really kickass, literally.

After he kickass, except that he does that with a cane and it usually lands anywhere except my crouch and ass, he would be pulling a crying me to that place.
And he would make sure, damn sure that i would not destroy their sanctuary too.

Lunch was the first thing we did.
They'd always have some fish on the table. And i freakin hate fish. Their skin, looks so ewww, and the stench from them.
Every now and then, they would do some traditional Foo Zhou dish, some weird weird stuff that is tasty enough to qualify it as a Fear Factor dish to torture the contestants.
Oh yes, all the food isn't prepared by my grandparents, it's by the maid. Although during the pre-school years of my life, my grandmother would be the head chef.

Later, aft lunch, the maid would sometime have fruits to serve us. And the fruits are like all not chilled. And so, it felt disgusting to me.
Then my parents, actually only my dad would be chatting to my grandmother, and my grandfather would be watching tv. Alone.

This is the fact: I couldn't and still can't understand the dialect, and is therefore unable to communicate to them. Sometimes, my grandfather would try really hard to speak to me in Mandarin. But it is like a China man in the sub-urbs trying to speak English.
So broken it is, i can barely understand, and had to pretend to understand by nodding or smiling.
Thinking back now, i never gave my grandparents, both of them, a handshake, kiss, hug, massage ever before.

That mindset i had was carried with me right till their passing away in 2001.
Then, i begin to miss them.
Missing them.
Missing them harder.
Missing them bitterly.

Then i begin to reflect.
That was when i felt bitter.
Bitter like no mortal could deal me.
bitter like i never felt before.

Now when i walk along the sidewalks, and see some children with their grandparents, i can't help but feel envy.

It's a blessing to have grandparents around and have them just talking to you. Just idle, casual chat. Them sharing their experiences and history with you. And you telling them how irritating that Math teacher is for giving you a F in your last test.
See their reaction.
Behold that moment.
Say a prayer for them in your heart.
Give thanks for it, for the world knows that this moment will not last nor go on forever.
Then smile and give them a hug, a warm cuddle just as you would your parents. Kiss them and tell them you love them. Their eyes would definitely shine more brilliantly, and that kiss would bring more life into that face which has been eroded by time. For they know they are loved. By you.
I would do it, if i could.

2005-11-25T17:56:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging these days...
Simply have not got that strike of inspiration to write ( type).
Holidays weren't like those i imagined it to be, save for the chalet part.
Chalet, although short was actually dense in fun-ness. thank you to those who were there at the chalet. you guys were the one that made it so. And special mentions to Chia Ling whom booked the chalet and my parents, for finally allowing me to go ( although still with much reluctance and nagging.)
I reckon this would be like the last holidays where i would be this slack. Next year is really a year of intensive studying and revising. I can't possibly let myself down at such a critical examintion.

block in the head yet again, till then,
that's all folks.

2005-11-04T21:30:00.000+08:00

somehow, the skin of my previous blogskin got screwed up.
i suspect the image host exceeded bandwidth or whatever,
finally a prompt for me to get rid of that skin.

received a motivating and inspiring email from Robin.
An email about God it was, which challenges us to make God our no.1 priority no matter what circumstances be it fun, joy, sickness or sadness.

Forwarded it to many others too..
Let us all ponder over it..

2005-11-03T02:05:00.000+08:00

i held your hand in my dreams...
In my dreams, it was so beautiful and brilliant that i never wanted to leave. Beautiful because of you; brilliant because of you.
I gazed into your eyes. I saw a fire, passionate fire burning seemingly for eternity. Fueled by love. Perfect love.
You were smiling. Smiling so sweetly, my heart could melt. If only i could behold this smile forever. Eternity would then be perfect.

I was smiling. I knew i was. Who wouldn't when his crush was so sweet to him? But dreams will always be dreams. And reality will always be reality.
Seldom do the two intersect; it takes a miracle. And i am not witnessing a miracle.

I am staring into space...
Dreaming...

2005-11-02T01:34:00.000+08:00

i looked at you, i felt like holding your hand, bringing you to places so beautiful, only to be enhanced by your very presence. Your smile would bring me a warmth in my heart that might melt it.
I look at you, i feel like crying, breaking down and running away from you and never seeing you again.
looking again, i realised it was all an illusion, which i feel is to harden me?

2005-11-02T00:39:00.000+08:00

something happened today that really amused me.
1) a letter in the Straits Times forum
This guy trying to be a 'superhero' and try to stop bird flu by suggesting measures in our yummy hawker centres.
'.... To keep crows in check everyone should play his part. This includes
>>Food-centre operators ensuring any leftover food is cleared quickly.
>>The National Parks Board pruning trees more often to prevent roosting
>>Tightly securing garbage at food centres, to avoid food spillage'

His first suggestion: How many cleaners do the operators have to then employ in order to clear our stuff efficiently and 'quickly' ? This admin cost, eventually, will it be absorbed by the operators, or would it be passed on to end-consumers like you and me?
His Third suggestion : Overlooking his inaccurate language expression 'securing garbage'(how the hell do you do that?), crows can easily bite open garbage bags. Anyone remembers that time you last handled a garbage bag, and when even it was less than half-filled, it threatened to break open?

This e-learning week hasn't been fruitful, i am halfway through this History thing only.

I think i shld get a new skin.
Blog Skin that is.
I love this skin, the only hate-factor is the way text appears. And my paragraphing all gets screwed-up.
Any suggestions?

2005-10-31T09:11:00.000+08:00

Hello all!

Finally, fixed up the dead Ethernet card and got a replacement. Thus i am here.
BABY I'm BACK.

This week is an e-learning week. Which means Own time Own target learning. For me, my plans are as follows and i know the Lord will be there to guide me through.
Monday- SS ( however, the assignment part is group work and thus might not be able to fulfill the assignment component) and A Math.
Tuesday- E History & Geog
Wednesday- A math & E math
Thursday - English!

Thank God that Physics is rather no kick, and i belive Chemistry dones't even require to touch that portal.

Now i would like to talk about life since my last blog entry.
Examinations gone, girls come and go, books (made me) furstrated and mad, parents were not supporting......
I have disappointed myself once again at the recent End-of-Year Examinations. Scored pathetically for English. Chinese was a shocker. B3 was nowhere near my expectations.
But i know next year will not be the same. The importance and significance of next year have been deeply impressed upon me by my ever-nagging parents and sporadic caring teachers.

Had a dream quite recently.
Ever had that feeling of losing something dear to you yet waking up to realise you have none of the slightest idea of what it is?
if u haven't, pray that you'll never experience something like that.
the feeling, after u have awaken, is a cocktail of emptyness with several other feelings which leaves you feeling having no motivation for the rest of the day, and considering the time i woke up at, was very very very long.

Read about some racist bloggers that were convicted recently.
My two, or even perhaps just one cent worth : It takes two hands to clap. If there was only one hand, it would be slapping air.

English Language is such a beautiful and marvellous tool, there are millions of metaphor for a single thing ;)
In this case, metaphors would save my, and probably many other asses out there from the powerful hand of the Law.

We smash their mercedes-benz
First we run
And then we laugh 'till we cry
But when the night is falling
And you cannot find the light
you feel your dreams are dying
Hold tight
You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through

Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget
we only get what we give

Lyrics from You only get what you give by The NEw Radicals.
Thank You CXM for sharing with me this beautiful song.
i think this song has very much inspiring words and tune.

Yes, we'll only get what we give.
So right now, i am gonna put in 100% effort and concentration to every piece of school work, and will reap 100 % worth in 'O' levels.
Everybody, let's all work hard!

You've got the music in you..

2005-09-13T19:36:00.000+08:00

Memories of that girl has been distant.
Man, i miss her.
On Sunday, God, our awesome God, answered my prayers. I prayed hard to dream of her, to dream of her. After getting jealous by how Shern got dreams every night.
I dreamt of seeing her at the gym again, and tellin her everything i felt.
kickass.
when you love someone but it goes to waste. could it be worse?

it couldn't.
love has this miraculous power to change anything. God's love for His creation made him send His Son, Jesus to earth. To bear our sins. If that isn't perfect love, what is?

that girl at the gym;
that multiple tied up short cluster of hair;
that sweet face;
that passionate look;
that blushing cheeks;
that red healthy lips;
that black tee-shirt;
that blue shorts;
that Nike trainers;
that eyelid;
that charming sweet smile;
that look of your grin;
that nervousness you evoked;
that image you carved permanently in my mind;
that face i yearn to see again. So badly, it starts to ache.
the fading images.
Damn.
can't i see you again
It's never too late to relight the fire
this flame, i'll be keeping it, sheltered away from storms.
It'll be burning.
burning.

a love at first sight?
i believe in it. but this ain't love.
it's called a crush.
a crush that is more felt. more alive. more passionate?

Burn on..

2005-09-10T01:42:00.000+08:00

i bet most of u visitors heard about my sweet lil' encounter at the gym.
I think tht's one memorable event.

the gym; the most unlikely setting for anything to happpen.
the least expected.
the least of all.
Yet, it was the unexpectedness and it seem to be the focus of my condo, other than my house, now.

I was on the treadmill running obviously when a girl came in. I didn't pay attention.
seconds later, she was on the treadmill beside mine. She was wearing a black tee-shirt, blue shorts.
Side-view, her hair was tied cutely with two ends sticking out at the back.
I liked her hair.
She was running, while i stole occasional glances at her; she was quite slim and was running at a fast pace.
I finished my 'journey' and proceeded to dumbells.
Was on the exercise bench when the highlight of our acquaintance happened- I was completing my seventh repetition when i looked at her.
Her eyes were double-eyelid, black with a hint of brown. Her lips were more red due to the exercise. She had cute pinky cheeks.
She looked at me. We maintained eye-contact.
She blushed.
I felt my face get hotter and hotter; heart beating even faster like i was sprinting....

2005-09-02T23:45:00.000+08:00

Dear friend,

i wish somehow i could translate what i did and why so into words.
I wish we could be like before; best buddies & doing everything together.
Somehow, i fear.
I fear you might not be able to accept the ever-widening gap between us. I did not meant it to be that way. I intended to tell you a week later then. The week past, but still i felt it wasn't time. Time.
9 weeks have flown past.
We have drifted apart, from being best buddies to almost strangers.
No. I do not want us to be strangers.
Dude, 10 years.
10 solid years of friendship.
It isn't meant to be ended since the day it started.
Our friendship have morphed into brothers-like at peak.
We knew each other so well.
So we hardly quarelled nor had disagreements.
In fact, i doubt we had any.
And for it to end like this, due to some reasons i have yet to reveal, is totally outrageous and ridiculous.
Not many people have true friends, not many have friends of more than 5 years, not many have friends for more than 10 years. not many have had this link we used to have.
Dear friend, i have yet, as of now, to settle my thoughts. The on-set of examinations is making it worse. You are precious to me, my mentor, my buddy, my brother, my friend. Just as i am to you. That i am sure of, for we shared something that is incredible, there were times when we could speak at the same time with the same words. And there were times when you just knew how i felt and got serious. there were times u knew i was unhappy and cheered me up with ur utmost original jokes.
Our ambition, our vision, our future.
How much we have planned all these?
I am not about to be to destroy it. Or so i thought then. But our distance have increased so much, i feel afraid even to meet you. Afraid to explain things. Afraid to explain what happened.
It's not complicated, from a third-person's point of view, but to me, it's almost like a Primary 1 student solving questions on Logarithms.
I feel lost.
I want that kind of friendship back.
I want you, my brother, who understood me and stood by me so perfectly all these years.

People who used to see us doing everything together is starting to question, where is your other half.
We were that close. We were close to the extent that even others could feel it. Could feel the care we radiated out.
I am at a loss of how to explain.
I can't explain to it to you, let alone them.

God, help me.

2005-09-02T18:12:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the highlight of the week!
Surprisingly, i was thinking how stale my progress would be if i had to stay home to study. I was online and Shern popped to me the idea of studying together.
Wa. Even though i was literally bankrupt, save for my mobile phone, then, i agreed readily with much much enthusiasm. The thought of having company while you study was sweet.
Chia Ling then came on, but not before my failed attempts to reach her on her mobile.
So we agreed and settled everything.
I was the first to go off, given my distance away from Parkway.
Arrived at 3:20pm or so, i thought i was late and Shern is gonna give me her trademark face again.
So i entered the eatery with haste.
I looked around, saw nothing but unfamiliar faces. Proceeded further in, i stil saw no sign of them. I turned around, and i noticed a familiar girl with a rather, in my definition, mature style.
CHUA CHIA LING.
Wa. To think i was the first to arrive!
We chose this table near the entrance that was kind of enclosed, which i thought would enchance concentration.
Shern arrived with Shane later.
So we went to do revise, practice and read. With occasional crapping after getting bored.
Went home at about 9+, but not before messing with camera(s), each other and trying out various menu items.

That short hours of studying was productive.
i managed to finish up Physics ( combined science's ), Chemistry and a lil' bit of Additional Math.
Apparently, i am getting nervous and hyped up over the approaching of the End-Of-Years Examination.
This time round, i am confident of at least 2 As, and expect nothing less than a B.
Sounds more dreamy now, but i am determined and will do my utmost to fulfill my expectations of myself.
That includes sacrificing every afternoon after school re-opens and bug teachers all afternoon long to teach me and make me understand.

Current plans of the holiday (outline) : Study everyday in a group if possible. Gym.

Holiday plans are easily fulfilled.
I have much motivation to study nowadays.
Kickass

2005-08-27T02:15:00.000+08:00

On my dad's laptop now, at this what is deemed by others as 'unearthly', as for me, this is the time of the day perfect for anything, save for sport, unless you want neighbours knocking and screaming at you.

I feel a sense of peace and peace. It's almost like a sanctuary now.
A extreme contrast to 'daylight'; when it's so chaotic.

I am blaring 'dearest' by Ayumi Hamasaki on this surprisingly good quality pair of built-in speakers. This song reminds me on Inuyasha- it's the ending theme.
I have vivid memories of how i first got accquainted with that show.
I was sick then; i slept through the whole afternoon and woke up, 'reviving' the television, i channel-surfed for a lil' and found anime.
It was a novelty for me, first, i never and thought then i never would touch anime. Secondly, the audio track was in Japanese.
Shortly after, i was in love with the show. The plot, the drama, climax and main features of a story. The essence of the show that captured me was the characters, how they were created, their pretence but underlying love for each other, their spirit. It was, without a doubt, one of the better shows i have caught in my lifetime.
Something i think humans would never be really be able to comprehend is that, the fact that we cannot treasure something when we have it, but yearn for it after its gone.
I used to catch Inuyasha on Central. Mediacorp, for some cock reasons unknown to us, have decided to, rather abruptly cease broadcast of the show.
I discovered this cruel truth when i checked TV Listings on Life! section of The Straits Times. It was replaced by some other unappealing anime.
Or is it, i haven't learnt the art of appreciating anime.

I'll talk about Friday's happenings then.
School kick-off with Civics & Moral Education. Mr. Wang Feng made us read some retarded Chinese book for half an hour. I never had interest in Chinese books, with the exception of the must-read textbook. I mean, why bother when i fall asleep after i passed 3 or 4 pages.
The other half was spent on students sharing, in their definition, the most interesting story.
I was, unfortunately not called up, if not i'd be creating some story about how some guy got drunk and went home and screwed his dog instead. I think that'll be a real kickass start to a Friday.
Next-up was English.
This is supposedly Ms. Adri's last lesson with us after a short period of 3 weeks together. Frankly speaking, i appreciate, heartfelt, her efforts in trying to capture our easily-gone attention. It is real obvious and takes a idiot to see that she was trying to get our spirits and interest up to enable us to really enjoy the lesson.
Ms Soh is right, it is not easy to stand up there and speak to 30 pupils, and it is especially demoralising when you are tryin so hard to teach and some jackass keeps disrupting the lesson.
I am one of the few jackass disruptors.
But it isn't that bad, our jokes kind of keep the class awake, for Geography at least. Cause, i hope Ms. Soh never sees this, Geography is real boring.
Ms. Adri, i sincerely hope you enjoyed teaching our class, although some of our response wasn't positive nor were we angels in your lesson.
Came recess, we rushed down at the last 5 minute as we spent the other 25 minute watching Yamakasi, some really awesome FRENCH movie, which Ms. Adri showed to us to demonstrate the importance of vivid description of a character and how moulding him/her could change a audience's impression of the character.
Geography was seemingly never-ending; the clock seem to have lost energy and haven't moved its arms at the slightest bit.
Social Studies, the lesson i finally gave in to fatigue and slept. I couldn't have chosen a worser moment to do so, my collapse, alongside Yong Keong's drove Ms Gan to her nerves and she got real pissed off. Like i never seen before.
Making her feel pissed off made me feel real guilty. She's such a nice person and i had to return her kindness in such a manner, i felt like a asshole then.
Then, Chemistry.
The lesson was like a breeze, over before i knew it.

Then went to Subway with Yong Keong, Albert, Jolene, Kelly.
After eating, crapping, and taking pictures, loads of them at that, went home.

I boarded the Bus 162, then 'threw' in coins into that red box which eats your money. The bus driver demanded that i produce my student pass. I told him i lost my whole wallet, which obviously includes that card.
He said,' oh, you have to pay adult fares, where you going, Bishan? $1.40.'
I hated that damn smug attitude he gave me, as though i was die die must take his bus. But the bus was filled with passengers and their eyes, most of them were lookin my way.
Naturally, i didn't want to lose face and threw in a dollar.
Bloody Nigger man, i lost my transport fee for tomorrow. How the hell can i produce that card when i don't know magic, and lost my wallet. Ridiculous rules that demands the show of student pass. I was toying with the idea of writing in to Forum and i was damn sure thousands of students across the island would echo my view. Come on, i may look a little old, but do i look like a adult?
LAME.

Shall try my luck with the forum later tonight. getting a little tired after an hour of typing and crapping. Bed is yearning for my company, i must comply, for it will grant me sweet dreams and recharge me.

Bed babe, here i come..

2005-08-24T18:01:00.000+08:00

Things are lightening up just a lil' bit.
Today's Checklist:
1) Police Report.
2)Dental Appointment

I done 1) & 2) today!
Okay, so here's the story...
Calling the level 5 of National Dental Centre, which i previously thought was the Singapore dental centre, i related to them of how my wallet was lost and that my referral letter was inside the wallet.
Surprisingly, the receptionist, or nurse, the girl whom answered my call was the sweetest receptionist i have ever spoken to. She spoke in her delicate and sweeeeeeet tone and was patient with me. And thus, i was even more patient to her. She helped me check the possibility of subsidized rate without the referral letter.
She called me back in about 5 minutes or so, to inform me that it was an impossibility. But she gave me advice with her sweet and gentle voice on how to obtain another referral letter. Damn, i forgot to ask her for her name, else i'd be able to do something practical to express my appreciation.
After that, i went to a certain police building just opposite Singapore General Hospital. The weather was so warm to me.
Entering the building, i had to remove my belongings and allow them to be scanned through a X-Ray machine. And i had to walk past this security 'frame'.
Wow, i was thinking, why would terrorists, if they ever leak into Singapore, want to bomb a police building??? If, and only if, i were a terrorist, i rather bomb Chung Cheng High School Main's 1st level staffroom.
Okay that was lame.
Then i saw a sign that read,'for bailing, proceed to B1'
So this building ain't that simple as it seem after all.
And i noticed that that the floor i was at, which i will suppose to be the first floor, yielded no security cameras, at least visible ones at all.
All the policemen were looking rather serious, and as though if you were to fart, they'll kick your ass. It's a relief that Singapore Police Force dones't have the 'shoot-to-kill' practice, yet.
Then i was informed that loss of ICs will no longer require Police reports.
Damn.
And he told me i had to get a new one at ICA(formerly SIR) Building at Lavender.

Another day that went like this..

2005-08-20T13:12:00.000+08:00

Saturday hasn't been very warm to me.
i am feeling... sad is too mild a word, lost would not be able to capture a sadness...
It is like being trapped in a whirlwind with no control of where u're heading.

Maybe i haven't gotten enough sleep? not really possible, fact is, i slept right up to noon.
Oh, & damn, i misplaced my wallet, the wallet ain't much of a sentiment to me, but rather, it's contents are important, in a superficial sense.
It holds my dental referral card. Without it, i'll have to pay private rates. Which is like more than twice the price of the subsidised one.
My Identity Card. Losing this precious pinky card is rather severe. Paying fines, making a police report and on.....
Damn. And EZ-LINK card.
Have to go down all the way to Pasir Ris. And face some attitude ass.

Haven't been really doing my stuff. My Files!
Chinese file, Geography, Social Studies. A-Math.
Damn.
And i HATE doing files.
Point-less.
Wasting time looking for some worksheets and organizing them in chronological order.
Damn.
I rather be fishing.

2005-08-17T18:36:00.000+08:00

Sweet.
Amazing Race 8 will be premiering on the night of 27th of Sept in the US, which should translate into a 28th Sept premiere for Singapore.
Kickass!

The day was pretty okay, thanks to the absence of E Math from my timetable. Don't get me wrong, it's not that i dislike or hate it, just that i don't really like what the teacher says sometimes.
She had remedial with us though, it was alright really.

And a real BOOSTER to my mood today: Ms Lim came in for Reading Discussion! Thank God! She wore this black shirt that hung on to her body nicely, that showed her, in what females' eyes as ideal.
Okay, i am abusing my knowledge of 'descriptive' writing.
She wasn't really happy with us, with all the negative feedbacks from other teachers, and our dirty classroom.

School then ended.
Went with Albert, JunWei, Jolene, Yong Keong, Sharlyn, Jasmine and Dennis for lunch at our 'beloved' canteen.
I wasn't really given much choice; i had a dental appointment at the Singapore's Dental Centre later.
Bought some 'wanton noodles' from the only store that has it.
It wasn't that bad, considering the limitations the vendor has in usage of ingredients and the pricing.
Then Marvin joined us and said he wanted to go get some BANANAS from Ms. Wong. Unexpectedly, i craved for some too and accompanied them there to 'kop' some. Then Chester went with us to the Auditorium.
While Y.K. & Marv were in her office, i saw this weight machine that is designed for human use. I stepped onto it.
I expected the 'weigh-o-meter' to rotate to beyond the 70 KG point.

UNEXPECTED

The rather big needle pointed to the 68 KG point.
I was suspecting the accuracy of the machine. I used to be a bulky 73 KG.
Chester, whom was beside me all the while, couldn't believe it. He stepped onto it, the needle pointed beyond 70 KG.
I laughed.
Damn. I am MEAN.
Then he kept asking me shit questions.

Then the duo returned without any yellow sticks.
Damn.

Anyway, my father came later to get me to SGH for that damned appointment.
Sent Yong Keong there as he lived nearby.
Reaching the lobby, we had to pass by a thermal scanner.
Still vigilant.
Unexpected.
Went to the fifth floor....

Part 2 continues..

2005-08-16T17:36:00.000+08:00

This coming week, i am about to do something that has been on my mind for a long time. i figure 6 weeks?
Holy Cow, how time flies.
It's rather close to our much-loathe end-of -year examination.
Despite it being an annual event, no one, at least nobody in their right SLACK of mind would be excited about it.
I learnt something that made me rather high today: Ms Lim is gonna return to teach US, 3COURAGE in a matter of WEEKS. Although i'd rather it to be a matter of days, it's good enough.

Love is a leap of faith. When you love someone, and that someone, that special someone dones't love you back, the feeling is alike superconcentrated hydrochloric acid being released in excess on your heart. The pain, the misery, the hoping. And it all came down to broken pieces.

September, i hope, will be month when The Amazing Race 8 premieres!

2005-08-14T19:36:00.000+08:00

The weather is pretty now.
Take a moment to taste it. Feel it. Touch it. Kiss it.
I'd always love stormy weathers. It cools us. It releases more life to plants. It reduces our water bill if there's abundance too.

There's school tomorrow.
I feel empty.
The thought of another 4:10pm day.
The thought of Peggy Yap.
The thought of Harjit Kaur.
The thought of NOT seeing Ms Lim IN CLASS!
Getting a little unbearable.

Monday.

If tomorrow never comes.
When will this story end, and how did it begin?
I know it's up to me to decide and to play it out.

Motivation.

I lack it now.
It's unlike in the past where As are so easily attained.

Is This LIFE?

Or,

Is This LIFE?

You think about it.
How huge or tiny you want it to be?

Think about it.

2005-08-14T00:30:00.000+08:00

No one likes a dead blog.
my's been dead too long. Here's a wake up call for it to be worthy of placing Inuyasha and KAGOME's picture here.
Sometimes, furstration is devouring me. It's igniting further anger and hatred. Over what? i have no freaking idea what's happening to me. Physically, i may be better but deep down inside i feel worse.
Things i used to tell someone, i haven't been talking to for a long time.
There's this bridge of gap that is further widening and widening. I hope i will be able to destroy this. It ain't easy. I feel like i have no one to talk to now. Furstrating events have occured again and again.
Ms Lim leaving. Unable to do well in Chemistry test.
and CHEMISTRY! HELLO!!! It's CHEMISTRY!
I am putting myself down to a level where i know i do not truly belong to.
Sometimes, i overestimate myself, and cause a more intense fall, the pain is intensified by a whole lot.
But again, i lost that someone i have used to talk to. Who else was there when i was through my shit? Who else was there when i had thoughts of suicides? I need to speak to that someone but fear, fear of something, something i do not know, is preventing that. I feel lost in a whirlwind that is seemingly spinning in eternity.
I have overestimated myself at the wrong times, and underestimated myself at times so wrong. I have like screwed half of my life up.
Thought i would do well in that test, i crashed it.
thought i would be able to beat that guy, he thrashed me.
Knew i could win the race, thought i would trip.
Knew i would win the match, thought i would sprain myself.
To Ms Lim,
You're the best teacher one could ever have. You're like the daylight in a day. When you shine, we take it for granted, and now night falls, we attempt artificial lightning to mimic the light. I think the whole class misses you. But i know i miss you.
8 months, it's been a long time. Yet, looking back, i am not sure whether it was long enough. I knew i could do well in SA1, but i experimented with something, and i fell. That is not doing justice to your teachings nor a just reflection of you as a teacher.
You are a teacher whom truly motivates. at least, for myself that is true. You made me a little more excited about school. I'd never sleep in your lessons except comprehensions for it is you standing at the whiteboard. You made me wanna do essays again and again and again until i truly achieve what i know is from the best of abilities, however time did not permit that to take place.
I love your lessons. I love your style. We all do. Go ask anyone from 3 CR, i doubt there would be anyone in their right sense of mind to say they dislike Ms. Lim. It is that impossible. There is something about you that captured what teachers could previously never do. Magic? I remember vividly on the first day, when you tried to crack some lame jokes, i thought you were like the worst thing that could ever happen on a first day. But the impression changed extremely.
I'd love to have you as my teacher, as a teacher whom i will TRULY love, respect and listen to next year.

Sometimes, the truth takes a long long time to really sink into someone.
Sometimes, i forget that she has been assigned to BN and thought of it as a temporary change. It just feels so unreal to not see her face in class at the whiteboard. School dones't feel so warm anymore.

DAMN...

2005-07-31T17:38:00.000+08:00

A Walk To Remember.

The vivid images of myself breaking down in the late night after the words,' She had leukemia.' sped through my eyes. This was, and still is a book that really, well, simply beautiful.
I remember myself getting high when i saw my mum with the DVD i requested her to get. That night, i watched it.
Seen a waterfall? Well, tears fell almost like it.
I watched it a second time that night. It still captures the passion between Landon & Jamie. Their love.
I thought, however, the film didn't manage to capture the spirit of the book. But, it's an 90 minute film.
A few hours back, about 15 hours from now, i was on Windows Media Player. And i was extremely bored, and went to search for 'a walk to remember'
The results yielded 5 pages. I clicked on one that describes itself being a trailer of the film.
Terrific mixing. Text at the most appropriate times.
'Take A Risk,
Dare To Move,
Love Is A Leap Of Faith '
And I felt that weird but nice feeling again. The feeling.

Now the question to ask the one you love is : Will you take a walk to remember, with me?

2005-07-20T21:02:00.000+08:00

I don't feel blogging. No longer.
But guess u're the only thing that is willing to listen.

Today was the day, i felt two ends. Sastisfaction & Furstration.
I finally received the A math test paper, in which i attained a clean sheet, or rather, full marks.
It was good knowing my efforts have finally paid off, and proved buggers whom thought i wasn't capable wrong.
I am pretty sure, there'd be cynics doubting this achievement.

And Tan Eng Chiu is one such cynic.
I saw her, by a cocktail of bad timing and bad luck, while i was making my way to the volleyball courts for the interclass finals.
And the gist of her whole conversation, no, provoking, was that i saw the paper, and therefore, knew the methods of solving the questions and can therefore, score a 20/20.

Background information: This is the re-test, as she disqualified me from taking the first one. And how that occured is a story for another day.

From what i see it, she is purely jealous, that someone, whom failed the A math mid-years, and can't seem to achieve shit has beat her classes in terms of test marks.
Fact is, no one scored beyond 15 in my class.

I remember vividly, as vivid as i see the keyboard, my last statement to her,' So are you doubting my abilities?'
She replied most nonchalently,' Ya.' And gave me a look. And i detested that shit, cock-eyed face VERY much.

I wanted, with all my heart to get back at her.

ARGH!!!

2005-07-01T21:44:00.000+08:00

First Friday. First Weekend. After school has re-opened.
Improvements to be made:
Reduce frequency of sleeping in class. Unless it's CME.
Better Time management- A balance of relaxin' and intensive mugging'
Shall commence on my at least 2 hour to revision plan.
Exercise better tolerance, to my contemporaries as well as *some* teachers.
Use a little recreation at night.

This morning. My sister pissed me off. As today was St. John's day, and herself being a cadet, she needed to be in school by 6:30am, or so, she claims. I woke up, was preparing, and she was rushing me and nagging, 'wah lau, kuai dian la, wo yao zhi dao liao.' I hate people nagging at me, but, as it was a Friday, i exercised patience and merely shot her a look. She came back 5 minutes later and raising her voice at me. I shouted at her to shut up.
Okay, then we rushed down, got into a cab.
After passing one street away from home. She exclaimed,' Shit! I forgot my uniform.' Then the driver had to U-turn, and kept telling me that,'still got time, don't worry, relax, take your time.' He advised that to increased the numbers in his meter.
Being pissed off, i sprinted off to the lift and waited for my mum to come down with her Uniform. And back. Uncle still giving me his million-watts yellow smile.
Got to school early, and ended up sleeping till 7:22am.

Later in the day, we went for a talk, and Mrs. Yeo, a veteran hypocrite, claimed how proud and honoured we were to have that guy to speak today. That guy, is a real bitch. He was trying to inspire and motivate us, while giving the AV a totally stuck-up time.
Okay, he was trying to show us a movie about this guy called Patch Adam, some psychiatrist who was once a school drop-out. He went up to the AV room in the Auditorium, and tried to play the DVD. It couldn't work, with a message of 'region-code' error being displayed. He tried again, and failed. He then claim our facilities were backward, and 'this is a Code 1, American code, ORIGINAL DVD. Why can't work? What lousy facilities.'
I was amused by his ignorance, and arrogance with only a ORIGINAL DVD. His words reflects on how technologically advanced he is. DVD players work this way- the first three times are region-free, but subsequently, the DVD will be limited to the region of the DVD that was played the third time. For example, first time i insert a Region-2 DVD, second time, Region-3, third time, Region 1. After that, the player will only be able to play Region-3 DVDs. Btw, there are 6 regions. 1- US/Canada 2-Europe. 3-Asia, 4-? 5-? 6-?. I forgot the last 3 regions, the first two regions might be wrong, but Region-3 is definitely Asia.
Then, he complained of being hot and that he was perspiring. *REALLY* we are not perspiring. In fact, we were like particles of Solid, Densely packed with only sufficient space to allow vibration.
The AV then did something that i thought was carrying a hidden, negative message. They carried TWO (2) fans right beside him.

Later went to Shern and company's store. Had FUN there. Disturbing Ms.Adriyanti, Mr.Davamoni, and other teachers. Damn, there was this game, where u knock down CANS for prizes. I had a go. Then got this guy standing at the back. I wanted to disturb him too. I shot, he suddenly jump down. WAH LAU!!
Anyway, my aiming sucks. Haven't had Badminton training for 02 months and counting.

Went off at around 3+

Hope for a better tomorrow.

Gotta Run..

2005-06-30T20:09:00.000+08:00

The Amazing Race Wants YOU!!
Okay, the above only applies to citizens of The United States Of America.
Too bad Mediacorp isn't as big-bugdet as CBS.

I'd use one word to sum up today- SWEET.

i learnt quite a bit today. And got to mingle with new people, and took a step closer in friendship with several.

got a few inspiring statements from Hsin Lao Shi, she has this gift of seeing the shortcomings of others and not exploiting them, but, helping them.

She sees the tip of the Iceberg. Of myself. I marvel how and why.

She's unlike the typical teacher who teach, eats, collects pay, prepare for classes and sleep. It's way beyond that. Her passion in teaching. And learning to teach. And understanding to teach. Her definition of teaching is far far more sophicicated than the norm.

As i see it, that is.

Gotta Run..

2005-06-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

things haven't been going well.

Today, Ms Lim announced some dampy news: That the EL teachers will be teaching on a rotation basis. She will be rotated to other classes after teaching us Augumentative.
I am not HAPPY at all with this appointment. This is crap.
However, i have something to smile at : She appointed me IC of one senior citizens' event happening in our school soon. Whatever, i gonna go there and do a good job. Or at least, i hope and will try to do a good job.
Heard it was some old folk's karaoke competition. I am looking forward to the rounds of laughter ;)

Damn, sometimes i find myself feeling that i am weird. That Chinese lesson today, while i was staring at the table, i got furstrated. For no apparent reason. Then a severe mood-swing, which later cooled to a normal state. I must say, i practice better anger-management currently. Well, at least my usage of profane language has gone down DRAMATICALLY, i still use them, however, when i get pissed off.

Yesterday, i handed back my Punch-card, to my employer, South-Eastern International.
Their title sounds so professional, as though dealing in millions of dollars, as though they are a listed company.
But they aren't, and their office sucks.
Looking back, i feel i have fared well. 13 days, more than 10 pairs of shoes. 1 customer compliment. established at least 3 'discount' links. I can get like discounts for Clarks, Ecco, Timberland.
I am excited about the day i'll receive my paycheck of $500++ dollars. I have planned what to do with it.

&all i'm thinking about is tomorrow. Bite at this.
If you spend time thinking about the present, you can't plan the future.
if you spend time thinking about the future, you lose the present.
If you spend time looking back at the past, you lose the present & the future.

Time waits for no man.
Indeed.

Gotta Run..

2005-06-28T21:13:00.000+08:00

I think i looked like a retard. Damn, this photo was a rip-off. $3 for one shot taken by a DIGITAL camera that i doubt, really doubt exceeds the strength of a 3.0 megapixel one..
However, it's all good. Deep sentimental value, this has, for me..

Part 1/5

2005-06-23T21:30:00.000+08:00

First up, Mr. C.Y. haven't blogged for ages due to one stupid reason.

I forgot my password, and even more outrageously, i forgotten my user-name.

Na nee!!!

Loads and loads of events have occured since my last entry on China Dogs- i don't intend to be mean, but i just am. TOWARDS them, that is.

my 'graduation' from Outward Bound School. Resigned from promoting those 'shoes'....

Okay, Outward Bound, as promised by my seniors, was exceptionally fun, meaningful, a learning journey, and a test, as well as training of our physical and mental endurance.

Day 1, 13/7/2005.
Slept at 3am, was doing some last-minute packing and hell, they were a total hazard. I did not bother much about my packing, but no, i wasn't tired. I was in anticipation of a hellish, bug-filled camp. And hell, i HATE bugs. maybe that's how the term 'bugger' was coined. I found out later, after 5 days, that bugs didn't really liked me as well.
Joshua was kind enough to offer me a lift. I met him at Kallang MRT at 7:40am.
Early arrival. Temptation of MacDonald's. Aroma from MacDonald's was 'High in concentration. this caused a difusion down a concentration gradient' to the air around me. 'Damn.' I vaguely remember the last time i had MacDonald's breakfast- 2 years ago.
Towards the eatery i went, and u know what? Ronald MacDonald WAVED to me. but his hand didn't shake.
Sometimes, i imagined seeing Ronald MacDonald's face at night. When it's all dark. When it's all quiet. When u walk down the hallway to your toilet at night. And. BOOM! a face. all white. With totally RED lips. With RED HAIR. with a weird, paedophile smile.
Who wouldn't faint?
Luckily, MacDonald's advertisements shows him eating the burgers. I wonder how MacDonald's will make sales if they showed him making THEM.
Anyway, i got some burger. and a drink. MILO i think, from the label on the cup. but i seriously doubt it. It's too sweet. more like Diabetic Milo, except this, is sure to give you diabeties.
Okay. Then Joshua came by with his Dad. It was a rather speedy ride.
Then, i saw people. if PEOPLES existed, it would fit the situation rather nicely. there were approximately 450 people. From various schools.
I identified Bishan Park, St. Margaret's, Chung Cheng High Main, Choa Chu Kang. Serangoon Garden, among many others.
Then i realised our school was.
UNIQUE.
Others were all in School attire. we were all in..
HIP-HOP wear?

Next, we were moved into Palau Ubin, home to us for the next 5 days.
The possible transport modes into Palau Ubin- HELICOPTERS, or ferries.
Unfortunately, this wasn't a big-budget thing unlike the Amazing Race, where the teams are like, transported to the Starting Line in a Kick-ass fashion.
Ferries, there were 2, so i must use the plural form. Believe me, the ferries were unbelievably fast. the last school to leave Singapore- Us, left an hour plus behind the first.

Upon check-in, we were allocated teams that are called WATCH. till this day, i still haven't the SLIGHTEST idea what it represents.

My watch had a gay name. Because the name belonged to a Gay.
Cheng Ho.

Wow. how cool.
I was in the same WATCH as Jerome.
Our team mates comprises of 5 malays, and 11 chinese.

As always, we played some ice-breaker games. We were supposed to write our names on a piece of tape and paste it on our shirt.
Then, suppose to find a partner and tell him 3 things.
1) Name
2)Hobby
3)Greatest Fear.

Naturally, Jerome and I became partners.
He told me,' anyhow la, ur hobby and fear same as mine. so just say masturbating is hobby, and fear is women.'
Laughing away, i introduced to the next person.
Then it ended with us introducing the person, whose names are on the tape we finally have.
Somehow, Jerome got my tape. And told me,' Ni wan le' . So i got the tape with his name and grinned to him.
Then we shared.
Our instructor, Candy, was mildly affected by our crap. We had fun anyway.

The time lag from 13/7 till now is long and there is still a rather long bit. Look out for 2/5.

Gotta Run.

2005-06-05T22:33:00.000+08:00

Today this post is specially dedicated to all ZHONG GUO DOGS out there.

Yes, today i was giving a lecture again by that Lydia Chen.
In alot of ways, i find this system of Metro a failure.
She gave me a scolding for my shirt was out.
Hey come on, lah, it's not as though she dones't know the situation of how shoes are being stored in the storeroom.
We gotta use a ladder most of the time, and then, STRETCH to the extreme, to get that pair of shoes.
And later we gotta put in loads and loads of bullshit of that pair of shoes to sell it off. And damn, we have to tolerate their nonsense, body odour, feet odour, constant trying on the next, the next and the next pair. Most of the time, the customer at least tries 4 pair before making that 'critical' decision, as though it was the life and death of their feet. as though the feet would killed in that shoes.
We then got to 'escort' the Very Important Guest to the cashier, and face one faggot cashier to make payment, and thank the customer profusely- The last part was fine.
Mind you, the we refers to the low rank staff and promoters.

And all that Lydia got to do, as manager, is to type out, calculate the average sales of a staff, 4 in all, in an hour, and provide statistics for the company.
Yes, just sit in front of the computer, whack some keys on the keyboard, look at the Monitor, and print it out, while shaking legs all the while, and she will receive an addition of $4k+ a month.

The least she could do is to just advise. NOT SCREAM. NOT SCREAM AS THOUGH YOU'RE BEING FUCKED BY SOME GIANT DICK.
anyway, no guys will be that blind as to select her as sexual partner, i think they rather have whores as company.
Well, unless you pay some gigolo for some action, thats a different story. And i would really sympathise with that UNFORTUNATE gigolo, for the worst customer of their life.
I shan't elaborate..

Shirt out, and with a good reason, for customers are priority.
And yes, she screamed at me for my shirt out. no big deal, but the thing was, i had at least 24 eyes on me.
So, i argued back.
But, i gave way, for i know how narrow-minded her mind was. How unfeeling she was, how uncivilised she was, and finally, how i shouldn't degrade myself to that 'inhuman' level.

But hell, her spoken English was like, plack, worst than Wang Feng's, worst than a parrot's.
'I an(am) siuo(sure) tat(that) this( for once, right) is knock(not) the phist(first) tiam(time) your shiat(shirt) is out...........'
MANAGER, No.3 of men's department.
No wonder Metro isn't seeing increase in their market share.
Plack, superb poor command of English, and how the hell will she command respect? Unless Metro wants all its staff to be talking like her, and repelling away their already rare customers.
Her achievements are damn sad, nothing to be proud of, given her age.
30+s, shit english, real short(Think of Wahid, or one of the drawves in SNOW WHITE) Potholes in her face, and uses 5mm thick of make-up to cover the pot-holes, bad-breath, wear revealing clothes for men to puke, and she has nothing to reveal, anyway.
And please, i think a part-time staff could better her use and spoken English.
Good luck in covering those crater lakes. LYDIA. :)

Gotta Run..

Blueberries

2005-06-04T01:11:00.000+08:00

Blueberries.
The fruit of my bowl.
The bowl of my blueberry morning.
Food of blue.
holes of black.
tiny might it be,
big, it is not.
as tiny as a bead
big as a button.

Blueberries, seeing the return of Post's Blueberry Morning to shelves, revived my passion for them.
Every mouthful, every spoonful, every flake, little dust of broken flake. Into my mouth. With the drips of milk in every mouthful. Crunch, savouring, devouring, licking the bowl clean.

That day, after work, i saw a pack of 'packed-blueberries' in Marketplace. it costs $8+ for a few hundred grams.
If only i remembered to get my allowance that day.
Damn.. Blueberries, makes every blue day seems cool.

BLUEBERRIES!!!

Gotta Run..

2005-06-04T00:43:00.000+08:00

I found out some facts today. Some stuff about my work-life that was kind of unexpected.
First: my closer female colleague, Wei Ling, is a lesbian, not a bi-sexual, but a lesbian.
Secondly: Lydia Chen, some 'big-head' girl is from China, not Malaysia.
Third: I can get 50% on Timberland merchandise. KICKASS.

Today was quite a rush one, i signed in at 12:00pm, on the mark. COOL, damn CTE jammed up like mad, and my father was running low on fuel, thus, didn't wanted to go above the 90KM/H mark.
When i was approaching Metro and tucking in my LONG SLEEVES shirt, which was super hot. I realised something, something terrrible. No, my zips aren't undone. No, my shirt dones't have holes, but rather, i forgot the snake around my neck.

Then, as expected, i was given rewards for not bringing my snake. LYDIA CHEN, whom is, unfortunately, sales executive of our store, and like No. 3 of our dept, kao bei kao bu me, like siao, as though i just molested her ass.

DAMN IT, make me damn too lan, have to swallow some CHINA SHITASS's crap. only one sales executive shit, so old then get this post, damn weak la. FUCK OFF BACK TO CHINA AND GROW CABBAGE LA. AND LIVE ON EARTHWORMS. SHORTIE, spoken English like some beggar on the street, ahh.. lose to my spoken... extreme weak.. failure.

Had some interesting conversations with Lionel, Wei Ling. Talking about some drag-queens, and gays and lesbians..

Sold 2 pairs of Streetcars today.

Not bad. compared to yesterday's egg.

I am off to studying A math now...

Gotta Run..

2005-06-02T23:49:00.000+08:00

Feeling this, feeling the energy to blog.
This shall be a wholesome one, fibrous, and delicious.
Yesterday was my second day at work. Woohoo, sold like 3 pairs of shoes. it was actually 4, but u'll see why later.
Well, nothing much, until one, poor, fussy, bugging asshole came along. He sure did SPICE UP my day.
KICKASS, he sure knows how to make full use of my company paying me. 'Hmm, can i see this model, and all the colours? size 8.'
So, there were 3 different colours, and since it was Streetcars, which was my company's product, i took all out enthusiatically.
Then he said,'Hmm, too small. You give me, this, this and this,'
Again, it was from Streetcars, i wasn't at all pissed then. Then, he didn't like the design. So i showed him around again. He chose one, 'Size 8'. Seventh pair.
'too small. maybe a size larger?' fine, went in, took it out, that bald asshole resting his smelly ass on the sofa. size 9, 'TOO BIG.' i said okay. maybe 8 and a half? so i went in, took 8 1/2. Then he said he wanted another design.
And finally, he liked it, liked the way it fitted, liked the weight, like everything, then HE TOOK OUT HIS WALLET to pay for that pair of shoes which costs less than $130.
'oh, because i don't like this cutting.'
'oh this is too small.'
'oh, too big la, cannot'
'oh, too tight la, the cutting don't fit my feet'
AHHH!!! fuck u la.
Then, after like 3 hours, he came back.
' wa, this pair, no quality shoe, lousy, you see, cause me HURT. You see, i buy this less than 3 hours from you, you know. and cause me hurt, cannot, i spent so much, u give me this kind of no quality shoe.' Then looked at me with his literally 3cm thick glasses. Dunno whether he going blind or what, if he does, i hope no charity will accept him.
well, of course, his pronunciation for MOST words were broken.
Then, this guy, Dino got me out of this sticky shit.
MOTHERFUCKA, i took 10 pairs out for you, and now u come here make one big scene. u dumbass, don't look me as though i was the one who made this pair. BITCH.
wow, if i could say tht to him.
But he is really guai lan, density of guai-lan-ness in him is 200kg/cm^3.

Later, saw this kickass cute girl, when i was going to sign out. Checked her name, was Rene.
Her eyes are hazel. Really nice.

Then at night went home, went to chat with so many people. Haha, and Shern was doing some blogskin for KIM.

Went off to sleep at 2am, did not actually sleep. was half asleep, awake, for 3 hours till 5am.
Then pissed off liao, go bath.
When i entered my room, heard Power 98 playing Keane's 'Somewhere only we know'.. REALLY NICE WAY TO CHEER ME UP!

Then went to work. On the way, had an hour long chat with Yi Lin, i remember the part about Louis. about why she didn't accept him and all la. If she accepted him, then i think She really need thicker specs.
Not much interesting happenings, until about dinner-time. I went down, and saw RENE. she dones't know me, and i don't know her, just like her eyes.
Makan-ed Tori-Q, the rice was good, with the Jap satay.
Had some ice-cream. Bailey's and Rums and Raisins. KICKASS Bailey's. Irish cream or something with alcohol. but it was kinda steep, and used cheap cones from Aladdin. DAMN!

Then from 6-8, i was alone, cause Weiling and Harold knock off liao. Didn't make much sales today. 0 sales for my company, but sold around like 3 pairs of other brands.

Tomorrow, going to get another pair of leather shoes. Old one, my father's worn off like shit, and causing 'hurt' to me.. AWWWWWWWWWWW, yuck la.. stupid 3cm glasses guy. FAGGOT.

And talking about faggots. There's a faggot in my floor. KELVIN WONG. YUCK la, he donno use something to like ,'shave' his nails, and really damn unhelpful. He is really a gay.
GAY-TURD.

Well, hope i will achieve sales of at least 2 pairs tomorrow, considering it's friday..

Gotta Run..

2005-06-02T01:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my first day at work.
Was given a briefing by Allen, my company's rep.
He briefed me on the rules of the game, the warfares of the battlefield, and searching for weapons.
The shoes(or rather, weapons) are arranged in a order, say article number. 5603 40, all models 5603 will be there. 40 is the colour code. However, the shoes are not arranged from 5603-5609. it's rather random.
I was dispatched to Metro Paragon to promote Streetcars. Brand from US, the selling point of this brand is the lightweight. No other brand could reach. However, the downfall, is the design, it's not formal nor casual, rather, an intersection gone quite wrong.
Okay, my colleagues. I will most likely have this guy, Harold, as company most of the time. He is a friendly guy, and helpful too. There are also Shaffudin, or Dino, Zalina, Erone, Chee Loong, and Wei Ling.
All of them are like damn shocked when they learnt that i was only 15. They say, Singapore laws forbides the recruitment of teens below the age of 16.
I dont really care.
First day was quite cool, the customers were pleasant, and weren't fussy. There were, however, a minority of 'guai lans' who will purposely make u run in and out of the store room to get the shoes.
FORTUNATELY. MINORITY.
The store room was a slacking place too. Somehow, there is a chair inside, with rather good cushioning. And so, i will sit there and sms.
4:30pm came, and time for my dinner.
Lonely one too. I was eating alone at ORange Julius. I missed the drink there.
I went back after 40 mins, although i was given an hour for dinner. But, like i said, i was paid 5 bucks an hour, so the earlier i go back, the more cash in my pocket.

Then came second day. but folks, i am having a rather small headache, and eyes aren't happy. my eyes are prefering to see my bed.
and i got the tag 'PROMOTER, METRO PARAGON'
WOO...

Gotta Run...

2005-05-31T10:07:00.000+08:00

This might be one of my shortest entries ever. I haven't the time. It's now 10:07, and i am going to report for work at 12pm.
First day. Looking forward to meeting new people, interacting with my colleagues, and perhaps, earning some commission??? ;p
pay is 5 bucks an hour, excluding commission. But the commision will be like shit.

Run through Monday and today.
Monday, afternoon squash, gym. Later, went for dinner at this prata store, where u can see the oil being accumulated alike one crater lake.
After dinner, we wanted to go to SICC, then this damn Huai Gu didn't want to, as on the way in, there are cemeteries.
Instead, we left for some place near Bukit Timah for some 'gaming', a activity i haven't touched for a long time, and also lost the desire to...
Later, went back to the 'poolside' of our condo. It was cooling. We were sitting by the pool, and crapping.
Believe me, we crapped from 11+ to abt 1am, when we decided the Pit-Stop would be my house.
Then slacked around, and did some stuff on Friendster, and somehow, Huai Gu kept laughing at this girl, HuiXiang.
http://www.friendster.com/viewphotos.php?uid=13776777
Then we laughed at him, for being so ridiculous and mean, as to laugh at someone's looks.
Then at 3+am, we went to the same Prata store, but instead went to it's neighbour store which is also an eating house, except that it offers Chinese dishes.
I ordered this Minced Meat Noodles, it didn't taste like shit, neither did it taste great. Just made it, the chef has. I know this place to get the best minced meat noodles in Singapore, at this coffeeshop at Toa Payoh, can't recall the exact 'co-ordinates', but i recognise the way to it.
We walked back as we had got here. Only thing is, our journey back was faster, cause, on the way to the prata store, we took a detour, and a detour that covered no distance, as it was just a u-turn to the road we will go to.
To illustrate this, say u can get to Bishan from Changi via an expressway, but u don take it, and go to Marina then to Bishan, minimize that to scale of private properties, and u get our detour.
Reached my place, then we slept, it was already 5+am, i slept till 10am, the rest of them are still in bed...

Gotta Run..

2005-05-30T00:40:00.000+08:00

I have achieved something today, i did gym, and achieved beyond my expectations.
Gonna increase the repetitions of dumbells done by 10 everyday until the end of the holidays.
I have ran for 20+ minutes non-stop on the treadmill, something, or someone is silently giving me the motivation i very much need.
Afternoon was hours at home, with very little happenings, save for some activities on the Xbox, and some discovery on the body's working system, like how working late at night causes overweight-due to the stress hormones created, and the desire to eat, and the period at night is when metabolism is low. Thus, people will get overweight when working late at night.
Interestingly, i also discovered ways to increase the metabolism rate of the body, say sweating out at the gym twice instead of burning your calories out at one shot, obviously, the metabolism rate is raised twice, and thus, more calories will be burned.
I never received the quotation that i was suppose to receive in the afternoon.
Later at about 4.30pm, CXM and i hit the gym. I was more than happy to go- metabolism rate raised twice!!!
Half a clock oscillation later, we went to 'squash-ing'. Huai Gu, rather, Bryan, or as i prefer to refer to, Alien, joined us. The first time i met him in Secondary 1, when i was very much into gaming, he resembled the alien in E.T.
We weren't really squashing, for me, i was searching for the right moment, and i would swing my whole arm, with the racket in my hand, towards the ball, and deliver a force so strong. I was somehow looking to waste energy.
Somehow, thinking of Nuclear Physics now, and remembered a website i went to last night. A website that describes a man's treason. The guy, sold information to Russia , of precious nuclear physics information, and obviously included would be the application of the famous formula E=MC^2. Then nuclear weapons became a part of the cold war, as Russia could catch up with the advancement made by the US.

Later, went out with my parents only for dinner. I can't remember when have i felt so good before. It was only me, my father and my mother. My siblings were at home.
Frankly, i am awfully jealous at how much care and love my siblings receive. They shield whatever wrong-doings, and when i point out their faults to my parents, they will tell me to tolerate it.
I mean come on, they are 14 and 13, both with a set of complete working body system. Each has a brain that is capable to perform what the average person is capable of.
I am much more capable than them, even at their age, i could do much more, venture out further. I do not see why they deserve this, when i do not get it.
Perhaps it is due to this jealousy that lies, in my sub-consciousness, that i have a gap of communication, understanding between them and myself.
However, i do not see the need to change, i will not change just to talk to some undeserving female human whom does not even respect her brother. Just let this continue for a few more years and i will hardly see you. Why bother.
But, my relations with my brother have improved, although he lets me in only to the entrance of him, and shuts me out from there.
My brother, i sense, is able to surpass the achievments of his sister. Strangely, both of them are really diligent, a virtue i lack.
Back to my parents, their attention and love for me have been divided into 3, ever since the 2 of them came into existence. And unfairly, they have given it in improportional rates, and from my perspective, i was given the least.
i thoroughly appreciate the absence of the two of them. I could communicate better with my parents then. They could show me the concern that i will hardly feel.
However, certain things pissed me off. Like when we were ordering our food, my mother kept thinking of what to buy for them, and she EVEN asked me,' do you think Chong Junn and Hwei Yee will like this?' I gave her a look.
Even in my presence, they just couldn't take their minds off them, i just do not know how and where to express my disappointment. For, i could say, many things in my life, i did, just to make my parents happy.
When those two brats are so immature and crappy, they receive more than i do.
What the FUCK is the logic? I am always pissed off when i think of this.
Dinner went okay, but their occasional probing of my daily life. I tried to joke with them, and my father joked back. In that moment, i forgot the existence of my two siblings.
Mean and evil, you may think i am? But screw it, this is the way i feel. And i will hardly hide it, with the exception of in front of my parents, although my father has knowledge of sour relations between me and my sister. We just can't mix.

Gotta Run..

Late Nights.

2005-05-29T04:47:00.000+08:00

Rather, it's early morning now. 4:45am and ticking.
Finally found a skin i liked. Featuring Inuyasha & Kogame. Chose this skin because in the show, obviously they like each other, but Inuyasha dones't shows it.
Did a Tagboard too. Finally have a space to crap to in real-time.

Plans for today:
1) Hit the Gym.
2) Get out of home.
3) Do up another Chinese Exercise.
4) Will be receiving another quotation. Which is good news, more quotations=more income.
5) Do some revision
6) Sleep early at night. Got an interview tomorrow!!!

Okay, i hope the interview tomorrow goes well. I'll be asking them details for CXM, and hope he'll get the job too. Both of us are strapped for cash, and we are eye-ing loads of stuffs. But, it's hard for him if the hours are inflexible, being the Captain of his Table-Tennis team. He's got heavy responsibility, and high expectations too.
I learnt it all too hard myself. Results or you get out.

Sometimes, i wonder, when will i get a break from all these nonsense. Finding the way of life now very chaotic, stressful, and crazy.
My temporary escape from all chaos is in the late-nights, or early mornings. When i got the whole house to myself, when my parents are asleep. When creatures are asleep. When i get tranquility.

I am doing some speculations here, and aims to motivate myself not to give up if I get a bad position. Heard it's some promotion stuff in the shoes department. Conincidence. My father used to retail shoes at Marina Square, before i was born, up till 8 years ago.
I'll be getting a pair of shoes, some shirts, jeans, and maybe a Sony PSP. It's either that or a Lightsaber Replica. I am hungry for one of those replicas. They're limited in quantities, 2500 per model. Perhaps, it might fetch quite a price in secondary markets?

Several reasons for getting a job.
1) Not idling my time away in the holidays. And getting some exposure in the working society, where i heard of incidents of cold blooded backstabbers, Hypocrites, and definitely bosses that kick your ass around.
2) Time to get independant, time for me to stop asking my mother for cash when i want something, or when i want to go out.
3)It'll be a chance to get to interact with strangers. To boost my confidence.

Stretched myself. Been awake for quite long already. I am thankful to be on cable, imagine, myself to be 5 years back, on limited usage, low band-width connections. I'll wonder how my dad is gonna skin me for being online for 8 hours.

Technology has enabled Man to be more efficient. However, i find that, the more technologically advanced we are, the more we stray from our inner-self. I feel a need to listen to the voices inside me, but find it impossible to do so in this light-speed society, where the competition is stiff. Where industries are saturated. With the advancement of technology, the voices becomes whispers, whispers slowly becomes inaudible.
The day we lose touch with our souls, is the day we lose ourselves.

Strange, this world is, whenever i look to the skies, to the ground, i will find thoughts in my head, it's so natural, and whenever i am alone on a bus, in my room, in anywhere, thoughts just appear, i do not know how, and why.
Once, i was on the bus, and looking at the 'moving' ground. Suddenly, i thought of Albinos, and thought of how hard their lives might be. Obviously, it is impossible for me to imagine their suffering and inconvenience.
It was something that surprised me, because, just looking at ground, i thought of something completely that had no link to it.
Wonder how much of mystery Nature contains...

Gotta Run..

29th May 2005

2005-05-29T03:28:00.000+08:00

it's been 3 days since my last entry.
sorry folks, just didn't feel like typing when my graphic card malfunctioned. Although i managed MSN chats, but typing to a 4-bit low colour screen just kills my enthusiasm.
Hmm, let me just fill this in on what happened on Friday.
It was pretty much a boring day, i must say.
I met Tan Joon Seng with my father. I didn't expect much of my results, given my uncaring attitude towards academic performance in the first 2 months. My tests, i didn't study for, slept in lessons, re-butts at certain teachers, well, to sum it up, I was wasting away my time.
The subsequent months, up to the Mid-Year Exams, i did study for it. I can say i placed in at least 70% in Chemistry, 60% for the others.
I was confident of topping my combination, in Science(Chemistry), as I had grasp in that subject and was really interested in Chemistry. Unpleasantly shocked, and crashes of my dreams, i scored a low 26/50.
From then, i didn't really cared about other de-briefing sessions, I took a look at the marks, and went back to Dreamland.
So, back to the nice three-way 'talks' Tan, my father and myself had on friday. he told my father about my A-Math and E-math performance, and told him that i wasn't serious in Math.
He told me, you must try and do well and practice and practice and practice.
I wasn't exactly trying to be nice then, so i told him, 'Look, Mr.Tan, let me give you an example, basketball. If you can't get the ball into the basket, you would lose interest in it, wouldn't you? It is the same with Math. And eventual giving up.'
He looked away.
He spoke of me being able to achieve better grades, which is like 'duh'. And he went on crapping about my grades. It went horribly, but, as if he received a bribe from me, he actually told my dad that my conduct was okay in school.
I was surprised at that too. I was involved in at least 2 teacher conflicts. Seems the radar of Tan is kind of narrow.
Whatever, that kind of evaporated a little, say 10% of my father's disappointment.
Then, i brought my father to meet Mdm. Hsin.
She requested to have a chat with him when i saw her in the canteen that morning.
So she went on to say, positive stuff about me. And certainly, that evaporated 80% of his anger.
With 10% left, i could manage it. To tell the truth, i do not think i would be able to take 100% of his anger coming at me.
Then, on the way back, he was conversing with my mother, about the feedback he received from the HOD, interestingly, he said,' Wa, last year, he(Tan) told me Chong Yeow's conduct was bad, but he passed. This year, he failed, but Conduct, 'passed'.'
I laughed.
Then back home, i slacked till 10pm. When a interesting Hong Kong show by Gallen Lo, 1 cutie, whose name i forgot.
Then in the show, one guy was jio-ing this cutie. Then when his proposal to her failed, he still continued trying to change her mind. Then while waiting for her at a cafe, her sister came instead and talked to him on her sister's feelings for him. One part that i found nice,'I am like a key, and she is like a lock, while i am changing to open this lock, the lock is changing too...'
That show is a kickass one.
Then 11pm arrived, it was Anime on Central:Inuyasha.
That episode featured a perverted monk, with a wind tunnel in his right hand that is able to absorb anything. It was a curse, that was from his grandfather's nemesis.
Saturday, I slept right up till noon again.
Then had a nap later at 2+ up till 4+.
Typed some stuff for my dad.
Went out with CXM to United Square. Got lost in a stupid tunnel that led us to TTSH instead. What a foreshadow. which i hope wouldn't come true for any of us.
Singapore's getting really boring. But as Ms Lim had said before, u gain some, u lose some.
Personally, i would love to get to France and stay by the countryside, but of course, when i am financially stable.
Damn, wouldn't it be nice, to milk the cows, live with my loved one, without fears, without worries. In a far wide green, grassland, away from the chaos of city-life, away from the stress of everything.
But of course, i wanna have my old-friend CXM, and a few others as neighbours. Then, everyday, all of us, in saint, peaceful selfs, have tea or coffee, with a pieces of Freshly home baked cookies(i'll find out how) and talk about. LIFE.
And that is LIFE.

26th of May 2005

2005-05-26T21:46:00.000+08:00

Today is Thursday.
If I could grade every day that happens in my life, today would be a ACE!
It was really really nice. Well, this statement, however, does not include the hours before 1210pm, and after 7:40am.
I played volleyball with Jolene, Chia Ling, Yong Keong, Alex, Wei Jun and Shern. Lost touch in that sport, especially, haven't really touched the game for like 4 years or so??
Had some nice strokes, haha, from Badminton, and had some moves i learnt from my vollleyball CCA previously.
Played the game, well in some point, successfully, in some, unsuccessfully.
I was surprised at how Chia Ling and Jolene showed enthusiasm in the game and their skills. Although not very skilful and adept at it, they showed effort, really.
Well, this leads me to a new line of thoughts of how efforts affect the future of an individual. Like Einstein said,'1percent is intelligence.'
Then later we left school for Subway again at about 2pm. I shared a footlong Meatballs with Yong Keong.
Then later we 'shopped' around Suntec, Chia Ling and Jolene each bought a pair of slippers. Which Shern didn't exactly like, for reasons unknown to me. haha, i have no comments on this. Lifestyle FREEDOM!!!
We next went to Citylink. Went to this nice shop with Beer glasses, mugs, and cigar ashtrays. I liked one of the beer mugs, although it would be likely to be filled with H2o instead. Drinking dones't exactly rock? Haha
Then we parted at a 'crossroad'. One that linked to Esplanade, another linked to The MRT.
Jolene and Chia Ling left. Leaving me, Shern and Y.K behind.
We headed for Esplanade library, with the thought of borrowing To Kill A Mockingbird. In the end, we couldn't as there weren't one in that library.
We discovered that instead, we owe the NLB money. Y.K. owed $30 plus, while myself and Shern owe about $9.
I found the Soundtrack of Episode 2. Across the Stars reminded of last year. one of the most romantic scores, i must say.
Hope tomorrow might be as good as this one..

Gotta Run..

2005-05-25T19:22:00.000+08:00

Today, news broke, of a coach replacement.
There was strong hints of a possible replacement of the current one, like from Derrick's accounts of what Ding Jie told him, and my conversation with Ms.Low yesterday.

When Ms Low broke the news to us, i felt numb. Not much of anger nor sadness. It was close to feeling nothing.
Then, after going home, and heading for the gym. That was when i started to feel... well if only a word in the English Language existed, that was far far stronger than sadness.
I was on the treadmill. Running and letting my thoughts run. It did. And it ran like a tap. I was thinking about improving my schoolwork, then thoughts of improving my English. Leading to the thought of Ms.Lim, and it led to the thought of Ms. Low, as they were on the same level. Then i thought of badminton.
It was that thought. That led to me being reminded of my coach.
And i felt really really down. Somehow the energy of feeling sad kept me going for so long on the treadmill, so long as to cause some 'pulls' in my stomach.
Coach, if u were ever reading this, your spirit and lessons of life that you taught us, will stay with me forever. Just alike how you inspired me.
Now, this coach is alike no coaches that i ever known. From accounts from my friends of other CCAs, other schools.
He cared for us, treated us like his sons. There were frequent occasions when he took us out for lunch after training. There were occasional gatherings at Marina Bay, where everytime we went, we went off with something-happiness. He even gave some of his trainees, whom deserved it, rackets, to serve as motivation. When shuttlecocks ran out, he would take some out. Now, whenever we went out, it was always from his pocket. Even the shuttlecocks, which was not mandatory for a coach to do so.
He believed in this,'Do not let money control our lives.'
What really touched my heart, was that, he cared genuinely for us. there isn't any doubt about that.
Besides, our opponents were really tough, they could have 5 trainings a week, while we are constantly cancelling training.
WHERE IS THE LOGIC?
Lies of a system- Since Mr.Yue's term as Principal, our school have been emphasizing the importance of RESPONSIBILITY. In our schoolwork, in our CCAs, in everything we do. And now, i do not see the school taking responsibility for their lack of giving us venues and time to train.
Coach, Mr. Chan, you will be the coach that i truly love and respect. You were like my grandfather. And despite you will no longer be with us physically during training, during my daily life, the lessons u taught me have made a deep impression, deep down inside my heart. Your spirit shall continue to live within me.
Additional plan for holidays: Pay my coach visits.

24 of May 2005.

2005-05-24T23:20:00.000+08:00

Today was quite a pleasant one, i must say. Despite the fact that i did not manage to fall asleep until quite EARLY in the morning.

Headed to school in a taxi with my sister. Got a Chinese cab driver. Hmm, not bad, got me to school in under 15mins i think.

I alighted at the side gate. Saw no familiar faces at the canteen and decided to go up to class to take a nap. Wow, surprisingly, there wasn't anyone in the classroom when i arrived. Perfect for my plan to sleep-No Lights, No Noise, No Buggers.

Then, unfortunately, after i rested my head on the table for less than 5 mins, i saw the DARKEST clone trooper. It was Feng Kai. Damn. Now i got a bugger bugging me. Wondered how will i be able to keep Mr.Zhou company.

That 'clone' was smart enough not to switch on the lights and all. And he sat like 2 seats away from me.

I thought, maybe he sensed that i wasn't pretty much happy to be stucked in the same classroom as him, so he shut his mouth up. Then, this lil' girl named Chessia arrived. Wow, she actually thought we were civil-minded as to 'save' electricity. How Naive. A Sith Lord like me wouldn't need to save electricity, i got my own Sith Lightning.

Anyway, the day just started. After 'pledging' ourselves to the Republic of Singapore quite falsely, I had to see our dearest Mr.Soon for Tea. Well, I was thinking, maybe Norman and Jerome didn't exactly go for Tea, as they prefer Coffee, so Mr. Soon had to make do with my company as i didn't mind having tea.

It was kind of fun, he sent me on errands. First, he also wanted the presence of Huan Yuet for our Tea Session. So I ran all the way to the fourth floor and gotten Huan Yuet. Huan Yuet seemed surprised. So i was thinking maybe it wasn't exactly her cup of tea.

Lame.. but screw it. He had a 'nice' chat with me, and forced me to apologize to that Female Human. I had no choice but to comply, it wasn't time to reveal my identity as a Sith, just of yet. If i had a choice, i would slash her with my lightsaber.

So i went to see her, and she gave me some 'ENCOURAGING' speech. She further accused me of pissing my Sec 1s and 2s teachers off, and abusing some crap. If not for the sake of my mobile and my holidays, and save my parents the fuel to get here, Damn. I'd love to Force Grip her and strangle her.

So, after getting very motivated by her most encouraging speech. I went off. Reflecting how heavy this lesson was. and i gave the 'apology' i fakely written, and with her signature, Mr.Soon, after 10 cups of Lipton tea, DECLARED the case closed. Not that i wanted to open it in the first place.

Dismissal. Mr. Goh saw me and ordered from me, a piece of 500 word essay to enlighten him. How nice, my reputation is kind of high now eh? LOL. it was on the topic 'Responsibility' which i, as of now, haven't completed. As i pontang the stupid Sports Umpire crap, which i dun even know what it is all about.

Main reason for my skipping was for STAR WARS. Although i watched it, i wanted to watch it again. It was really nice. and i discovered some new facts which i missed on the first part of the show, for instance, C-3PO, has quite a funny role to add in the element of humour into the darkest instalment of Star Wars.

On the way home, i was on 162. Then i fell asleep. Damn it, damn malu again, i drooled. Whatever it was, then this female beside me alighted. Came this male human, he sat beside me. When i reached my stop, while preparing to get out, i said excuse me to that guy. Perhaps it wasn't loud enough, but he blocked my path. Hmm, i felt so pissed when i got off the bus.

This was when i thought of the greenish alien, Yoda's teachings. 'Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hatred, hatred leads to suffering.' Well, but i am a Sith Lord, so i am supposed to make full use of them. LOL. But it was too insignificant a matter to get me angry.

Yoda's quite a good mentor.

Gotta Run..

Star Wars Episode 3:Revenge of the Sith

2005-05-23T22:52:00.000+08:00

This instalment, i must say, pretty much the best out of the prequel trilogy.
It follows the path of Anakin to the dark side of the Force, and the events leading to it.
The movie is kind of, lacking in the capture of Anakin's thoughts and emotions.
But overall, the fights were... AWESOME. Yoda and Sidious's, Anakin & Obi-Wan against Count Dooku, Obi-Wan and Grievous's, Obi-Wan and Anakin's. Sidious and Mace's.

I think Hayden did a great job in his casting of Anakin Skywalker. He showed the conflict of his interests, thoughts through his facial expressions, in a marvellous way.
Well, personally, i liked Obi-Wan Kenobi the most. Ewan kickass. Wa lau, his lightsaber damn zai one,as in the structure and the way he spoke, the way he did stuff, exude an aura of confidence.

my conclusion is: STAR WARS KICKASS

22nd of May.

2005-05-22T23:47:00.000+08:00

I really made quite full use of today.
The start of Sunday, at around 1+, i went to this temple nearby my house, some very popular temple. The visitors had their cars parked all the way to the road outside my condo.
I went, mainly to accompany my mother, a lady walking out all alone isn't exactly safe, even in Singapore,and secondly, hope the temple offer a chance for me to rejuvenate my spiritual self.
Even though it was one in the morning, the crowds in the temple were still active. I estimate at least 3000?? We went in and all.. and prayed.
I prayed hoping for myself to find a way to solve my spiritual problems, for guidance.Kind of lost spiritually. I lost the meaning of life. And i believe, with the elimination of my spiritual emptiness, i will accomplish whatever i have setted out to.
There was a interesting ceremony called 'A prayer per three steps.' I did not join in though.
I shan't elaborate the process, I respect religious freedom, and will therefore, not preach about my religion.
Then, my mother and I went back. On the way back, i talked to my mom about some people in the temple and their actions. There was this playing of some sutra, and some people 'sang' along with it. The sutra was supposed to make someone feel at peace, so, it wasn't unusual for people to chant along. Ironically, I felt disturbed by their voices. They sounded so.. well, i'll put it as weird.
So i was telling that to my mother, and she told me that we shouldn't comment about others, as much as we do not wish for others to comment about us.
I argued it was unfair to be tormented by their 'weird' voices.
Then my mother said 'Aiya, i do not wish to talk further about this.'
Not that she was irritated, i hope she was just tired.
Anyway, i went back home and reached home at about 2am. I estimate we spent approximately 50minutes at the temple.
I went to sleep. For about 6 hours.
I was woke up by my phone. It was Xiu Ming, a.k.a C.X.M. CXM are the initials of his name. Just like i am known as T.C.Y.
I shall now write a small history of our friendship. We met at a certain playground of Bishan. We were only 5 then. We went on to be in the same class in K2. By some miraculous twist of fate, we ended up in the same primary school in the same class. I remember clearly that it was 1F. The 4 years following P1, we were assigned different classes, and each had his own share of friendship and adventures. We were reunited at P5. We both managed to score quite well to secure places in the A Class. We were quite mad in P5, going to play arcade games after tuition, and fool around. So much so to earn me a last place finish in the SA1, and he and a girl, ZiHui, tied for the 42nd place. Then it was P6, i still wasn't serious enough. He turned quite serious in his schoolwork though, while i was wasting my youth. Then, D-Day came. The results of PSLE were released. He scored the same as Zihui, looking back makes me laugh now, 254. While I has a FREAKING lousy score of 238, and i was tied with 2 other in my class with the same score. Wu Suan and Wesley. He got posted to The Chinese High School, currently known as Hwa Chong Instituition, while I got into Chung Cheng High School(Main). A diamond-strong bond between us have been formed in these past 10 years. We been through Shit times, i still remember a certain almost 'arson' case in P5. We also been through times so exhilarating, i thought that was memory enough to keep me going for a lifetime. Now we both persue ambitions of being a Psychiatrist. 10 years of friendship. That will never end.
We arranged before i went to bed, to catch Star Wars. Warning: Spoilers Ahead.
So, i went to bath and prepared.
At approximately 9am, we went off. He stays at Summer, while I am at Spring. My condo's blocks are named after Seasons. So it was real easy for us to meet up.
We caught the Digital format version of Episode 3. It was a kickass instalment. The best, i think.
Darth Sidious, A.K.A Palpatine, is damn qiang. But i don't like his constant using of Sith Lightning, quite boring. Show other Force powers. He killed 3 Jedi Master, i forgot their damn names, as they are alien, before they can even react. He fought with Mace Windu, another damn qiang one. It's like the fight between the Whites and the Blacks.
Eventually, Sidious loses, when Windu is about to send him to meet Satan, Anakin, intercepted his sabre, and 'chumps' off Windu's hand.
Then, Sidious lets off another billion watts of lightning towards the black. Then the Black falls off the window.
Anakin was confused then and under that stupid White faggot's influence, he becomes Palpatine's 3rd and final apprentice, and is named DARTH VADER!!!
So, Palpatine gives his new 'padawan' a task. To kill all the Jedi in the Jedi Temple. Anakin is like super powderful, his midi-chlorians count is over 20000. Even more than that 800-year old Greenish Alien, YODA!!!
So ar, this super got potential guy, after letting out his rage, adds soo much powder to himself. He, with some help from the clones, sent all the Jedi in the Temple to meet Satan. Even the younglings, he did not let off.
Ok I shall only elaborate on the scenes i like.
Then got this fight scene between Obi-Wan and General Grievous. This stupid Grievous is super humji one, keep running. but this time, he think Obi-Wan easy pray la, so take out all his ' collected' lightsabers, 4 in all, and chiong with Obi-Wan.
Then Obi-Wan, or rather, General Kenobi, is ultra qiang one, u'll see why later, with all the experience he accumulated from meeting the previous Siths, Darth Maul, Darth Tyranus(A.K.A Count Dooku), and now this stupid half human, half cyborg shouldn't pose a threat to his powderful brain.
I liked his pose when he first approached that damn Grievous. Nice pose with the Blue Lightsaber.
In the end, he killed Grievous with a blaster shot. Grievous just like that, KABOOM, and Mati liao. Not a really nice ending, but what to do? This instalment got like, at least 6 Lightsaber duels.
Then, Yoda fought with Sidious, wah. don't underestimate shorties. This greenish Alien, whom i think is damn cute, the way he fights, the way he walks, and the way he TALKS. 'DESTROY THE SITH, WE MUST.' He fight Sidious, although he supposed to be more qiang than that Palpatine, i think the sudden deaths of a few thousand Padawans must have affected his spirit. So he humji, and SIAM.
Now, the most interesting part. Obi-Wan and Anakin Skywalker's fight. KICKASS! AS CXM noted, it's the only lightsaber duel not involving red lightsabers. They fight until damn hiong. Their mastery of the Force so power. They executed the Force Push at the same time, they pushed themselves back. You know, Obi is the master of Annie, so their moves should be the same la. Oddly, even with the help of the Orr Orr (Hokkien for Dark) Side, Anakin stil lose. I think Obi-Wan too used to fighting Orr Orr Side people, used to their moves la. Then Obi-Wan KOPE his lightsaber and went back to Padme.
The ending, Palpatine rescue the half-dead Anakin, and throw him into some machine that makes Chicken MacNuggets, and he becomes Darth Vader. Then Padme gives birth, WITHOUT BLOOD!!! to LUKE and LEIA. Padme died of Childbirth.
Super cool show. I gonna watch again on Tuesday, when the damn tiks price aren't so Expensive.
I shall have another piece of comments of Revenge of the Sith Soon, it's getting late. I started at 11:47, and now it's 12:55am

Gotta Run...

part 2.

2005-05-21T22:08:00.001+08:00

Well, i have taken my second dose of medicine for the day.

I shall have a plan for the holidays.
1) Shape up. I need to tone up really. So, i target regular visits of not less than 4 visits per week to the gym.
2) Revise my work of not less than an hour per day.
3) Get a part-time job. I just do not feel good constantly asking my parents for money.
4) Plan my life.

I place special emphasis on the above 4 points. I do not want to start a new term of school feeling empty. I want to know that i have achieve something and stop the desire for another holiday.
Well, a part of me hopes for a chance to leave this country. For at least 3 days, to some country that has a richer culture, and more interesting than High-rise flats and motion pictures.

part 2.

2005-05-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

The 21st of May..

2005-05-21T17:43:00.000+08:00

Damn... My speakers aren't functioning again. Wondering what boomed into them.
Today, i woke up near 12noon. Ate my breakfast, or rather lunch, of some breadtalk crap. Really bored at the frequency of bread being my breakfast.
Then, i took my medicine. one pink pill, one yellow pill, one orange pill, and 5ml of one weird weird black liquid, that is BELIEVED by WESTERN doctors to cure coughs. I looked at the packaging of the Pills, prescribed by my doctor. They were all made in Malaysia. I felt kind of 'worried' about the efectiveness of the drugs.
I then went to my bedroom and switched on Xbox, loaded up Grand Theft Auto:Vice City. Not that i did not want to play San Andreas, just that Xbox quite laggy in their games development.
Explored abit, and found some cool stuff. Killed around like a dozen people. Ahhh.. I felt the effects of the drugs now. I remembered on the PAckaging was a warning:'May Cause Drowsyness, do not drive or operate machinery.'
I switched the Box off and went to the warmth of my bed. It has been calling my name for a long long time already.....
I felll asleep soon enough.
Damn it, I still cannot remember any of my dreams.
Then, my wired phone SCREAMED. I picked it up and heard my father's voice. I suppose he was stuck at some closed-up place for the echo was very quick.
He informed me, that some 'prospective' clients were coming up to view the apartment. I said oh okay. Then i hung up. My dad, never says goodbye on the phone, for reasons still unknown to me.
Sure enough, 5 minutes later, i heard the melody of my door-bell singing. I open the door to see a Chinese REAL ESTATE AGENT, but i did not see what company she belonged to. And for a fact, i know that it's common for Agents to be switching around the three main Real Estate Firms: PropNex, ERA, and some Deubeuham Tie Leung or some dumb name. Although I have no idea how the system works.
Then the two prospective clients were Indians. a male and a female. They were really friendly. They each introduced themselves in some words that i didn know, and i told them my name. Then we exchanged handshakes.
I brought them around the house, and the agent kept emphasizing on the morning sun and spoke about nothing else. I had a feeling she had notthing else to say because she did not know anything else.
Then they left. And here i am....
Coming up next: The events that unfolds tonight.

Gotta Run..

20th May.

2005-05-20T22:25:00.000+08:00

I went to school today, and for the first time, feeling numb about it.
Then saw Alicia, then talked about our grades, and i realised, Pure Science people aren't that better off.
Went to the canteen and talked to Shern, Chia Ling, Bryan, Benji, Albert and stil got other people. Today, we had inregularity- Yong Keong, a regular with Mr.Soon's late list, was actually early enough to join us.
The bell screamed, signalling our turns to be screaming at the Parade Square. Although we don't anyway.
Then, after the flag-raising ceremony, i felt my pocket. It was empty. i then remembered my mobile was enjoying the company of Mr.Soon's locker.
I remember the sequence of events that led to my Mobile phone's imprisonment. Which i shall describe in greater detail in later paragraphs.
I went to find Mdm. Hsin, to check out that Female Human, Yang's background and all. To better prepare the on-coming war.
We were chatting quite happily, when that Female Human, appeared out of a gateway, the gateway linked to hell.
We had a heated argument. I shouted at her for making jokes with my name. She shouted back that i was a ruffian, and my attire wear was like a ruffian.
She joked with it again. And insisted i followed her to Mr.Soon's office. I didn't. I was so fuckin extremely pissed off, i felt like stabbing her a million times, that my eyes were wet. I walked towards the canteen to cool down. When i walked back, she fuckin joked around with my name again.
I wanted to shout at her 'YOU FUCKING TRY PLAYING WITH MY NAME AGAIN, AND I WILL FUCKING KICK YOUR FUCKING UNWORTHY ASS TILL YOU'RE BED-RIDDEN.'
i did not. and i screamed,'look, she is playing with it again.' to prove to the 2 teachers my point.
Then, this retired teacher and Mdm Hsin, told me to calm down and not to rebutt whatever she was saying.
She shouted,'WO BU KUAN NI SHI CHONG YEOW HAI SHI CAI YAO HAI SHI ZHONG YAO, u jolly well come with me.'
My nerves were stepped on, not just touched. I shouted at the top of my voice,'you are not fit to be a teacher.'
Then Mr.Lee intervene, the retired teacher went to knock some sense into that Yang's numbskull, which i bet, was to no avail. Mr. Lee Er Ker, managed to, miraculously, to get me back to the normal form, although i was stil angry with her for playing with my name.
That numbskull then went off and so did i, but not only after being calm down by three teachers.
The Main REASON for my extreme displeasure.
1) I hold my name with great respect. Not that i am egoistic. But, it was a name, given to me, after careful, and long thoughts, by my late grandfather. my grandfather was a man i loved. I hold him in high-esteem. And the things he did, the thoughts he had, the numbskull can never ever, not even close to par with. We all have manners, we respect the privacy of others. we do not go into someone's house and search the closets and all. We do not do that. We are HUMAN BEINGS IN THE RIGHT SENSE OF MIND. And my name was a gift bestowed to me by him. Nothing can ever come close. And making jokes with my name? is similar to going into my house and messing everything upside down. and burning my house down. DISRESPECTING MY NAME IS EQUIVALENT TO GIVING ME A SLAP AND SHOWING MY GRANDFATHER DISRESPECT. I WILL NEVER TAKE THAT. And being a teacher. a teacher, a role model for students, someone students respect, learn from, trust and love. Tell me. what right do a teacher have to burn my house down? what right does she have to mess around with my name? SHE WAS MESSING WITH ME.
She later told me, that i was wrong to question her teaching abilities and qualifications. She said she had been a teacher for 40 years and seen gangsters and sorts of people. She 'informed me' that playing with my name was nothing, when i go into the army, i get called by numbers.
Well, this is my reply to her.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN TEACHING FOR 40 YEARS, and still cannot exercise restrain and continue arguing and playing around with students' names. And 40 years of continued exertion of authority on students. WELL YOU ARE A FAILURE FOR 40 YEARS. 40 years, and you still cannot understand the need to respect your students, and still fail to click with your students. Well i feel sorry for the past 40 batches of students u have taken, i sympathise with their failing and year long of unreasonable sufferings.
You chose the wrong career. maybe 40 years back, you chose to be a road sweeper, perhaps by now, u would have swept over 1000 tonnes of litter, which is really, quite an achievement. But now, u have wrecked the lives of whatever acquaintances that u had, and going to have.
Well, i learnt a lesson from this numbskull.
If earlier, i did not react to her dumb name playing. And took it to the principal. I might well be buying her a teddy bear as farewell gift now.
Lesson learnt today: React not to numbskulls teachers, listen to whatever they say, and use it to your advantage when u complain to ur MPs, principals, Presidents, or whatever. This way, sure a ass-kicking way to kick their ass off and break their rice bowl.
Too bad i learnt too late. ARGH!!!

19th May 2005

2005-05-19T20:59:00.000+08:00

Today is the official WORLDWIDE release of the highly anticipated STAR WARS EPISODE 3:Revenge Of The Sith. I am a little disappointed about the events being held here. There isn't news of any marathons of the whole Star Wars Saga.
Oh Ya, Best wishes to two birthday babes today: Sindy and Cheryl.
The 19th of May wasn't a smooth day for me, and now even the music player is trying to piss me off. First start, I was late again, meeting Pattra, Joshua and Alvin. We were going for a badminton game at Pattra's place.
Damn. I lost touch, i felt stiff and none of my shots went the way i desired. Talk about getting mood-swings.
Then, went to Pattra's house, he had a nice, cosy apartment, and given the proximity to Orchard, it must have cost abit. Alvin, was like, acting in a manner i would call 'ungraceful'. He showed perfect inconsideration to his host and really, seemed unconcerned to the inconvenience he caused. I shan't elaborate here.
Joshua appeared to be shy. He stayed at one territory, as though shy to move about. He spoke little.
Pattra was a gracious host. He saw to, that his guests had drinks and some snacks, which is something that most 15 year olds are ignorant of.
We hitted Great World City for lunch. I had this weird 'U-mian', which was an awfully big bowl of noodles. It tasted, well, like, paper, being dipped in the soup. And the taste of the soup hinted of MSG.
Headed to school in a taxi. I took the front passenger seat.
I had a clear 360 degrees of what the driver was doing. The driver was an extremely aggressive driver, he refused to give way to other motorists, and often attempts to force in to another choked lane.
The Air-Conditioning of the cab sucked. The feeling reminded of the Auditorium of our school. Stuffy, with a fan, blowing only at the driver, with no oscillation at all.
The cab ride saved our asses from being late, but burned $2.10 of our wallets each.
I then saw Ms Lim. She was wearing this nice black skirt, with a black top, she looked, well, normal, today. Not that she didn't look good. She just didn't looked 'great' today, unlike the days when she wears the pink shirt. Wow, I think she looks gorgeous in that.
Then, in sharp contrast, i saw this smelly bugger, whom Wen Yan nicknamed 'USB-cum-GGM' USB are the initials for Undisputed Smelly Bastard. GGM are the initials of God's Greatest Mistake. I totally agree. And whenever he sees me, I swear, he stares. 'Argh.. Go Fuck yourself, bugger.' i thought. He was lucky Ms Lim was there, or I've my longest finger working for me again.
We sat down, my shirt was out again. And teachers have exceptionally keen eyes when it comes to me. Ms Lai, 'advised' me to tuck in my shirt. I complied, I didn't really want to bad-start my day in school.
Then, we received our E math paper 2. Crap, failed again. I shall now, make a declaration to not fail any subjects in the end-of-year examinations, and score a1s in English and Combined Science. With both Math being of respectable grades.
I slept throughout the debrief. Damn, i drooled all over the paper.
Then came the debrief of Chinese Paper 2.
First, this was one of my most hated papers. and secondly, I didn't really perform in this paper.
The teacher, whom did not behave like a respectable one, INSTRUCTED, i swear, her tone was in a commanding manner, to sit on the floor.
Fuck her. Chairs are meant for the resting of asses. Now, she wants our ass to rest on the floor instead. The floor was so damn dirty, why can't we remain as we were? And STUDENTS, are humans. WE ARE NOT DOGS FOR SOME FUCKING BITCH TO COMMAND. So what even if she is a teacher? She can't hold the sky up, she have no fucking authority to make me sit on the floor, let alone a dirty one. No teachers will disrespect the names of students and make jokes out of them. She did so on the debrief of Paper 1. All the more, i feel more like disobeying her bullshit commands damn my keyboard is malfunctioning later then
gotta run

18th May...

2005-05-19T00:26:00.000+08:00

I am in denial...
Mr. Lam just informed me that my chemistry is not even close to an A2. Damn it, let alone the a1 i freakin wanted. GOD DAMN IT.
I am not at all, pleased with my results.
English-59/100 Now the score sounds so Chinese.
A Math, a rocking shitty 20.5/100
Physics-24/50 i am quite ok with this thou
Combined Humans-28/60 SUCKS ASS

Well, i really really really hope my Chemistry will kickass. Like how HCL(aq) dissolves metals. But whatever la. This middle year exams was kind of damned anyway.

I'll talk more about today then. I woke up today, with a cute ringing tone waking me up. Then i slacked about in my bed, not wanting to stray away from the curdle of my warm, friendly bed. Then, the clock took it all away- A indication of 9:30am approaching. I had to get myself up and get ready for this 'exciting' day.
I washed up and all, and changed into my P.E attire with pants. My P.E looked stretched. Weird. Then i remembered why.. In class, i always like to put my thighs into my shirt and make them look like super-big boobies. Hell, they were bigger than Pamela Anderson's! Then I'll joke around with Dennis and Albert, about boobies..
I totally regret it now. I had to wear a disfigured P.E shirt to school. But, it beat wearing the 7-buttons shirt.
By the time i got ready to move out, it was 10:15am. I betted with myself that i was gonna be late. I arranged with Shern earlier on to meet to have Subway again at Suntec City, at 11am.
I took 410, then switched to 167, then switched to 56. all along the way, i felt like lying down and sleep away. Which actually happened on the final leg of my journey, on Bus 56. Damn medicine, made me feel so drowsy.
In the end, i was 30 minutes late. Which was really bad, considering the fact i was meeting a girl. So i ran to this CANDY EMPIRE store at Millenia Walk, thinking of getting her something to make up for her waiting. However, reality hitted me right at my wallet. I wasn't rich today. I had only one RED YUSOF ISHAK in my wallet. And the prices of the store were all generally above one PURPLE YUSOK ISHAK.
If i bought something, i'd be so poor , i wouldn't even have Yusof Ishak in my wallet, maybe some silver flowers inside one of the compartments.
Damn, i ran out of the Candy Shop, feeling so malu. I chiong towards Suntec, my headache returned. i forgot i was stil a sick man. The headache was still haunting my head.
So i had to walk, but i walked briskly though.
Taking the.. black lil' thing with spiky edge to bruise if u run on him, i descended and saw Shern sitting there. She waved to me. No show of anger at all. I suddenly felt so guilty, and thought of treating her. But i thought of the only RED YUSOF ISHAK i had... Felt so malu again.
Then we began talking. soonafter, we ordered our respective Subs(as they are called). I got a B.M.T. while Shern got a Cold Cut Trio.
I finished mine in like less than 10 minutes, and she was telling me to slow down. But, you know, i have a insastiable appetite, so i was trying really hard to slow down..
But I did anyway, and she caught up with me.
Then we went for a lil' walk. it was cool, really, just walking. and not talking.
Then later, we went back to school, but not before buying 3 cookies for Yong Keong. That guy's not good now, something happened between him and his girl. His girl that he holds dear to. His girl whom he will never allow anyone to insult. His girl whom he loved so perfectly.
Love is something really beyond the description of language, it transcends it. This magical four letter word, can make someone feel so magical when someone says it to him/her.
Anyway, back to today.
We took the bus 16 back to school. Upon reaching school, saw some familiar faces, shan't elaborate.
Then got back A Math Papers, damn, our class, 6 passed. i failed. duh. i skipped so many of Mdm. Tan's lessons, and i disrupted them when i was in them.
I was pissed off as the debrief bored me out. i hate boring stuff.
Then, came the Physics paper. bloody F^&%. that smelly bugger got an amazing 41/50. Maybe, it's time scientists do research on germs that thrive on smelly heads. One F^&%$% jackass like him can get a unbelievable A1, i felt so real zi bei. No big deal, i am gonna beat his ass in Chemistry. And if he go niao any of the girls, he's gonna get a nice little flower in his ass, if not alien carvings on it.
Then, headed to LT 1 for EL paper 2 debrief, hosted by our form teacher Ms. Lim. So cool, her presentation. But again, so suay ar, sat in front of that smelly bugger, and hell did i feel like punching his ass. When Ms. Lim was talking, he donno crap some shit to his friends la. And i sympathise with Yun Kuan, having to be tormented by his stench.
Upon receiving our papers, first thing i looked at, obviously, were at the numbers at the top right hand. To buy 4-D la. But, reality slapped me again. I had no more Yusof Ishaks nor Silver flowers in my wallet.
but the numbers not bad, sounded like some winning numbers 32/50. I always do pretty badly in Paper 2s. So i was surprised with the marks, if not quietly pleased.
Thereafter, we went home...
Today too tired and no time to allow posting of thoughts.

Gotta Run..

16th May

2005-05-16T20:33:00.000+08:00

this day is like, damned.
I woke up, with fever running, feeling nauseous, and my stomach's been empty for like almost 2 days already.
Then the rain came, i was hoping it could cleanse me...
Tried to hail a damn cab at the bus-stop, I then felt what The Amazing Race contestants must have felt- ANXIOUS. Although i had more time to burn then, i couldn't help but try to get one and channel my energy and time to more constructive stuff, than burning it out in a old, run-down, dirty, weirdo bus-stop. Mind you, i wasn't in the best of moods then, i stared straight into one female's eyes who was staring at me, due to my untidy shirt perhaps? Remembering the little red rectangular stucked above my left breast pocket, i decided it wasn't time for the appearance of my longest finger.
A damn cab finally appeared. The driver was either a retard, or his brain is operating at a few thousand GigaHertz below the average human, for he took 5 seconds to reply to my prompting of him to get to Tanjong Katong.
I wasn't sure whether he was trying to be a joke to other motorists or what- he went slow on near empty roads, but faster when he was tailing cars.
I must commend his driving skills. He knew the appropriate limit before shifting to the next gear, which many TAXI ah peks have no knowledge of.
He got me to school side gate. A fare of $8.60 'happily' flashed on his meter. He flashed me his smile, i could see some coffee stains, it's either that, or he chewed on too much MAOAM's.

Then, walking towards the canteen, i saw Shern. It's always good to see old friends, ya know, especially i haven't seen her since friday, and my illness made the weekend seem exceptionally long, almost like a week.
I had a bowl of warm noodles from 'Local Noodles DELIGHTS. If anything, my mouth and tummy was definitely not DELIGHTED. They had to work in unison to get whatever went down, up and out again, along with some Hydrochloric Acid.
Luckily, the flag raising ceremony was cancelled. So we went back to class.

Then, this female Chinese teacher, her surname should be Ji, came in to invilgilate our Listening Compre. my brain, was half asleep, and miraculously, i managed to capture almost everything. Kickass.

Later, our 2 debriefs, it was the hardest setback i ever encountered. English, with such a great teacher, and my passion, i only managed a 32/60. which is bloody Zi Bei.
Chinese. i was very very angry with this Malaysian female teacher, she really can't do spoken mandarin. Her marking scheme, was deem to me as 'bullshit'. Look, the format for private and Formal letter are different, that distinctively separates the two, i dun see a damn need for the 'imprint' of a question number at the top right hand. And my Zuo Wen, i wrote it in such a nice way, nearly flawless, earned me only a 32/50. i felt so crap.
But now, i think the spirit of Uchenna & Joyce of Amazing Race 7 -'The two things they haven't taken from us are our hearts and minds.' Yes, and this exam haven't taken away my heart for english, nor my mind.

It was Subway time!! I went there, to really accompany them, Yong Keong, Shern, Bryan. But, not to dampen the eating mood, i went ahead, but, went home, puke like hell..
Precious Thoughts was a nice place. They had all those sweet stuff.

Then it was the ride home. I drool. Drool, drool, drool, drool till 3 parts of my shirt were slightly wet. when i woke up, i was so malu. i didn know since when i started drooling. I wasn't even dreaming about Amber of Amazing Race 7. Guess it's just like when i sleep, i tend to drool.

Fever is back again, isn't exactly the best thing to posess in this world. Hope it will go off soon. Fever's been haunting me on and off this few days. Wish me luck.

Till Then,
Gotta Run..

Thoughts about The Amazing Race 7

2005-05-15T21:58:00.000+08:00

The Amazing Race was first broadcasted back in 2001. 4 years ,2 Emmy awards and 6 seasons later, it is the only show to keep me glued to the TV screen, and the only show i watch on TV.
Well, perhaps it's due to the fact that i dun have cable.
But whatever it is, i just love that show.

The recent season that ended, that was season 7, featured 11 teams-namely, in order of Elimination
1)Ryan & Chuck
2)Megan& Heidi
3)Debbie&Bianca
4)Susan&Patrick(Patrick's a gay)
5)Ray*Deana
6)Bryan&Greg
7)Lynn&Alex(Alex is a fag and so bloody immature)
8)Meredith&Gretchen
9)Ron&Kelly--.finished in 3rd place.
10)Rob&Amber-->2nd
11)Uchenna&Joyce-->KICKASS WINNERS.

first, let me talk about the senior couple Meredith&Gretchen. Their bodies were old, but their hearts and mind are as young and enthusiatic as any teenagers. They were a old loving couple. I can vividly remember, in Africa, Gretchen suffered a fall while trying to find their next Clue in a tunnel, in a Detour. Her soul really came out. No tears came out, even though her head was bleeding. They did not quit, and went on and was narrowly denied of their Top 3 placing by Uchenna & Joyce. Their fighting spirit is a true show of how much people can achieve, even with the onset of age.

The winners, Uchenna & Joyce, are a personal favourite of mine.
They have shown determination. Joyce shaved her head ( hair is precious to female) to get the Fast Forward in India. She could have told Uchenna 'Hell No' and go back to the detour, because Uchenna is already bald, but she did not. She went ahead and as her hair came down, my eyes begin to wet. This couple, at the last pit-stop, arrived last, all their belongings were taken away, and they did not receive any cash for the next leg, while the other 2, Rob and Amber, Ron and Kelly, had about a few hundred US dollars exclusive of their accumulated money. Uchenna, in a interview at the pit stop, remarked that,“The two things they haven’t take from us are our hearts and our minds.” that remark, greatly inspired me, yes, the two things u can never take from someone is their heart and mind. then, outside the finish line, they were short of $25 to pay their cab driver, i remember frm the show Uchenna said,' man, we gotta get this man covered, we can't just do that.' they begged again, and finally raised enough to pay that guy. This is the team that have greatly inspired me throughout the race, with their thoughts, their actions, their love for each other.

Well, it's getting late, i shall resume tomorrow.
See ya.

..

2005-05-15T14:07:00.000+08:00

sick. sick physically, which i shall atttribute *kindly* to the recent middle year examinations.
That was a crappy exam. which i thoroughly loathe, with the exception of English and Chemistry.
this throws me to a new line of thoughts of my markers.
Well, if my E.History marker happens to be Veronica Tan, and she tries to sabotage my marks. a part of me wishes her 'warmest regards'
i had a conflict with that female human. And i shan't describe her physical looks and character here, for, this page, i aim for it to be as clean as possible. anyway, back to the cool conflict i had with that female. I was talking to Ms Soh,( whom i think is really nice, and deserves my respect, seriously.) and she asked me about the Marianne Chong's GuideBook to Geography or something like that.
Ms Soh,' Did you lose your M.C. book?'
C.Y,'No, it was stolen, i would never lose stuff.'
Then that VERONICA TAN tried to be smart, and snapped,'Ha, try losing yourself first.'
Then, i turned slowly to look at her, ' was i talking to you?'
V.T said in such an innocent manner, ' OHHHH, so rude.'
And it is amusing whenever i look back, to recall that she wasn't even involved in the conversation in the first place.
Is it in the duty of a teacher to be so sarcastic to students? well luckily, she's the only teacher in our school to do so, if not, how will teachers ever have the respect from students, and will the sarcasm not kill the motivation for that particular subject.
But something i regret- that Ms Lim was there, and i think it would cause a strain between their colleague relations. i apologized to her later that evening. cause i never ever wanna lose such a great mentor and friend as her.

Tomorrow, i hope to achieve the A1 as i promise Ms Lim that i would achieve, but, the composition part, i wrote some corny stuff, maybe the marker might mark me down for that. i stil remember that EL PAPER 1 day, i was finishin the report, when i re-read the question, and realised that the parties involved in the accident, were a motorcyclist and a car driver, and i happily wrote about 2 cars, one porsche and one Lamborghini. 'S***' came out, and i crushed the paper to rewrite the report. I was burning the one thing i haven't got-Time.
Upon completion, i was totally stressed out, time was short, i had merely 35 mins to finish my essay.
I chose the topic, ' a trip that went wrong', and wrote some corny story about a picnic, and that i left the food box in my sling bag (which in reality i dun have one), and brought out my backpack instead....

Well, wish me luck..